


Parachute

by sincelight



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:30:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincelight/pseuds/sincelight
Summary: Sehun is just another college boy in love with his best friend. But when the truth comes out, and his heart is broken, Baekhyun wants to be there to save the day.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've FINALLY got around to writing a college boy secretly in love with straight best friend fic and I'm so excited for it. I've been wanting to write one of these fics for so long. It's gonna be a little angsty, a little funny, a little sad...a little everything. I hope you're ready, because I know I sure am. 
> 
> Leave kudos and comments and come chat on tumblr or twitter if you'd like. I'm @ sincelight on both!

“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!”

Jongin watches in awe, one hand wrapped around a red cup, the other holding his phone up to record the hot drunken mess taking place in front of him. He laughs as the people holding his best friend upside down by his ankles slip and nearly drop him head-first to the floor; they catch him at the last second. Jongin bites the rim of his cup and holds it between his teeth, allowing him to quickly reply to a text now that he’s captured enough of his best friend’s stupidity.

“Hey,” Sehun says, slightly out of breath but smiling from ear to ear. “You see that? Amazing right?”

Jongin has to stop his eyes from rolling, though he does allow himself to smile. “You’re a fucking moron,” he says.

“Whatever,” Sehun scoffs, plucks Jongin’s cup from his hand and downs the rest of the room temperature beer. “You love me,” he finishes after a long burp.

“Yeah, you wish,” Jongin says, snatching his now empty cup back and pursing his lips. His eyes scan the room, looking for where the kitchen is; he misses the way Sehun looks to the floor and wraps an arm around himself. “Let’s get more to drink”, he says, jabbing an elbow into Sehun’s side.

“Yeah,” Sehun forces a smile, “yeah, let’s go.”

They navigate the crowded party together, Sehun holding loosely onto Jongin’s wrist so they don’t lose track of each other in the sweaty sea of bodies. His head is swaying blissfully, eyes only half open; he’s letting Jongin lead the way, as he always has, Sehun following him without question.

When Jongin stops suddenly Sehun slams into his backside. He lets out an uncharacteristically high pitched yelp and blushes when Jongin turns to make fun of him, thankful Jongin keeps his eyes up because Sehun would just about die if Jongin saw his dick currently poking uncomfortably at his jeans. He’d disintegrate if Jongin knew it was because of him, because Sehun couldn’t help but focus on Jongin’s ass swaying with each graceful step he took.

Sehun shakes his head, pulls himself together and pushes the lustful thoughts about his best friend deep, deep down. “Care to tell me why you stopped?” Sehun asks, trying to get Jongin to wipe that annoying smirk off his face.

“Do you not see what’s happening in front of us right now?” Jongin side-steps and motions with one hand to a group of girls, some almost naked, using their fingers to cover each other in bright paints. “God, I love college,” Jongin cries out dramatically, elbowing Sehun once again.

Sehun rolls his eyes while Jongin focuses on the girls, “Yeah, me too,” he says unenthusiastically, which Jongin notices.

“Dude, are you blind? Look at them.” Jongin takes in a deep breath, “I’m gonna go introduce myself.”

Before he even gets a chance to say anything, Jongin has already left Sehun’s side, strolling cockily over to the drunk, paint-covered girls. Sehun sighs, chews at his bottom lip; he really doesn’t want to overreact in the middle of a party, so he slips into the bathroom and locks the door.

He doesn’t cry, no that wouldn’t be cool at all, but he does splash his face with some cool water from the sink. He hates feeling like this, like he means something to Jongin, like Jongin owes him more attention than half-naked college girls. But, he can’t help it. And, fuck if it doesn’t hurt. Being in love with your best friend is a hard pill to swallow, and a tricky secret to hide. He doesn’t think Jongin’s caught on, doesn’t think he’s noticed the way Sehun shuts down when Jongin brings girls back to their shared dorm. He’ll lock himself in his room and jam earbuds in his ears to avoid the possibility of hearing anything potentially soul crushing. But, it’s hard. He wants to feel the way those girls Jongin brings home feel. Wants to know what it’s like to kiss those lips, to have those strong arms wrapped around him.

Sehun sighs at his reflection, dabbing some toilet paper at his face to dry his skin before tossing it in the trash. He can hear some loud commotion in the hall just outside the door, sounds like screaming, maybe laughter. He can definitely hear people running.

He opens the door to utter chaos. His eyes widen in realization at the exact moment Jongin appears directly in front of his face. Jongin grabs him by the shirt and tugs, yelling something about police and ‘we gotta get the fuck outta here’. Sehun lets himself be dragged out the back door, down the patio steps, and through the bushes at the back of the yard.

On the other side of the shrubbery all is calm. Jongin smiles and punches Sehun’s shoulder. “You just stood in the hall like an idiot!” He laughs some more, “What would you do without me? Honestly?”

Sehun rolls his eyes and begins the long walk home. “Get arrested, obviously.”

“Here” Jongin says, casually passing a fifth of cheap vodka to Sehun. “Nabbed that off the counter before I came and saved your ass.”

“My hero,” Sehun mocks with another roll of his eyes. He takes a long swig from the bottle before handing it back to Jongin. “This shit is nasty, ugh.” He shivers, the alcohol unpleasantly warming his body all the way to his toes.

“I don’t wanna go back to the dorm,” Jongin pouts.

God, Sehun loves when Jongin pouts. His already plump bottom lip jutting out, looking absolutely kissable, bite-able.

“Quit staring at me, dude, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry,” Sehun mumbles, eyes now watching their feet carry them forward. He takes the glass bottle again when it’s passed to him and takes another gag-inducing gulp. “I bet this shit costs like six bucks a bottle.”

Jongin shrugs, knocks back a mouthful like it’s nothing and then goes into a full-body shudder. “Yeah, it’s pretty gross. But it does the trick.” He puts both arms up, bottle hanging from his right hand, “I’m drunk as fuuuuuck!” he screams into the night sky. He lowers his arms, loops one with Sehun’s and giggles. Sehun can’t help but laugh as well, and they stumble off along the dark campus street arm in arm.

 

He realizes he may have went too hard last night when the alarm rips him from a pleasantly sexual dream and he can almost immediately feel the vomit burning at the back of his throat. He has to jump from his bed and race to the bathroom, landing on his knees in front of the toilet just in time.

 

“You look like shit,” Jongin grins, and if Sehun wasn’t so miserably sick, he’d punch him in the arm. “Bad night?”

“Good night.” Sehun groans and lifts his head from the table, “Bad morning.” He moves his backpack so Jongin can place his food on the table, pulling it closer to himself so he can use it as a pillow. “Where even were you this morning?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Jongin whines as he tears the corner off his sandwich. “This partner I have for my Japanese project is unbearable. Like, he insisted we met in the student center at 7 this morning.”

Sehun winces, trying to imagine what it would be like to be conscious that early in the day. “How are you still awake? You got like…what? Four hours of sleep?”

Jongin tips his head back and lets out a pathetic groan, “Stop reminding me about how miserable my life is.”

“My dude, I spent the first hour of my day face fucking the toilet, don’t talk to me about misery.”

Jongin wiggles his eyebrows from behind his sandwich, “Kinky.”

Jongin’s head turns when a group of people start shouting at the other end of the dining hall. He watches the group for a minute, chewing, contemplating. A couple kisses and Jongin smiles a bit. “Do you think we need more friends?”

Sehun looks up, his chin digging into his backpack. “No. Why?”

Jongin looks to Sehun now and shrugs. “I don’t know, just thinking out loud.” He watches the table again for another minute. “But like seriously, do we actually have any friends besides each other?”

Sehun can feel himself getting irritated. “Luhan is my friend.”

“Luhan only speaks Chinese. He’s not your friend if you can’t actually talk to him.” Jongin rearranges in his seat, clears his throat. “But like, honestly…is it kinda like…sad? That we don’t have any other friends?”

“I don’t think so,” Sehun says easily. “You’re my best friend, I don’t need anyone else.”

Jongin wipes away a fake tear. “So beautiful. You really do love me, my little Sehunnie.” He reaches across the table to pinch one of Sehun’s cheeks.

“Shut up,” Sehun says, pulling himself out of Jongin’s reach. “You’re so stupid.”

“But ya’ love me!” He gives Sehun a big, bright smile.

“God, go make a new friend so you can leave me alone.” He watches Jongin’s face, trying to catch any subtle change in emotion; he knows he’d be crushed if Jongin had said that to him. Jongin’s smile doesn’t falter in the slightest and Sehun hates himself for it, but he wishes, if only for a second, that his words would have hurt Jongin.


	2. Chapter 2

“Who are you?”

Sehun raises an eyebrow, hand still on the door handle. “This is my dorm, who the fuck are _you_?”

The stranger on the couch just stares at Sehun, a look of shock on his face. Jongin enters the room then, two beers in hand and stops when he notices the weird tension. “Hey Sehun.”

“I didn’t know you had a roommate,” stranger says.

“He does,” Sehun says, finally shutting the door. He slips out of his shoes and crosses the room, sits a full couch cushion away from the intruder.

“Yeah, this is Sehun.” Jongin hands a beer over to the new person. “Sehun, this is my friend Chanyeol.”

It shouldn’t hurt. It shouldn’t make Sehun’s chest feel heavy. But for some reason it really does. “Hi,” he says shortly, not bitter at all. “You’re the one who had to work on the project at early the fuck o’clock.”

It wasn’t a question as much as an observation, but Chanyeol answers. “Oh, uh…yeah I guess that was me.” He runs a hand through his hair; he seems nervous for some reason. He pushes his little round framed metal glasses up the bridge of his nose and clears his throat, takes an awkward sip from his beer.

“We were just working on the project a little, thought here was better than in the noisy student center,” Jongin says, taking the seat between Sehun and Chanyeol.

 

Sehun stays on the couch for the next hour; he’s not sure why. He listens to Chanyeol talk about his astronomy major, all his nerdy math and star stuff. Jongin seems weirdly interested; since when has he cared about stars?

He finds himself getting more and more annoyed as time goes on. It’s not Chanyeol personally that pisses him off, no. Chanyeol is friendly and polite, his stupid curly hair bounces when he moves and his smile is too big for his face, but still, Sehun doesn’t particularly dislike him as a person.

What he doesn’t like is how friendly he and Jongin appear to be. Not in a sexually attracted to each other way, because Jongin is straight, but they seem like good friends. They have inside jokes together that Sehun doesn’t get, can’t laugh at because he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t like feeling left out of a part of his best friend’s life.

He knows he’s being immature and selfish, but he really wishes Chanyeol would leave. He wants to kick back on the couch and have weekly movie night with Jongin, where they curl up under a blanket and Jongin falls asleep with his head in Sehun’s lap. But Jongin, for some reason, invites Chanyeol to stay for movie night and, suddenly, Sehun is tired and doesn’t feel like watching anything.

He tells Jongin goodnight and heads to his room where he lays under his covers and glares at his wall until he falls asleep.

 

Sehun curses himself for falling asleep so early when he wakes up at 8 in the morning. He doesn’t even have classes on Friday so now he has to find something to entertain himself with for the next five hours until Jongin gets back from his classes. He gets up and goes through his usual routine, brushes his teeth, washes his face, takes a long morning piss.

He’s still got his hand on his dick when he hears the front door opening and voices in the living room. He goes through confused and scared quickly, but then hears Jongin’s idiotic laughter.

“Hey, you’re up weirdly early,” Jongin says, giving Sehun a smile when he exits the bathroom into the living room.

“Yeah, I fell asleep early so…” his voice trails off, not really worried about explaining himself. He’s more concerned with wondering why Chanyeol is back, sitting on his couch. Once again, Sehun sits at the complete opposite end of the couch. “Chanyeol,” he says, giving him a civilized nod of acknowledgement.

“Hi,” Chanyeol replies softly, giving Sehun a cute little wave of his hand.

“You skip class today or something?” Sehun asks Jongin, rolling his eyes in annoyance when Chanyeol answers.

“Class was canceled. We’re apparently the only two who didn’t get the email and showed up for class.” He smiles, lips pressed together, little dimple showing. It’s cute as hell and Sehun hates it.

“Yeah,” Jongin says as he sits on the arm of the couch, letting himself slide down on top of Sehun. He flings dramatically onto his back and stretches his arms up above his head. “I got my ass up early, walked all the way across campus, just to be slapped in the face with a ‘class canceled’ paper taped to the door.”

“That sucks,” Sehun says as he tries not to focus on Jongin’s ass pressing hard into his crotch. “Dude, you’re so heavy. Get off of me.” He pushes at Jongin’s hip, both grunting as they wrestle, Jongin trying not to fall off the couch as Sehun keeps pushing.

Jongin’s ass lands on the carpet and he punches at Sehun’s shins a couple times before getting up on the couch, not on Sehun’s lap this time. “So, wanna play video games all day?”

Sehun almost says no, but the little pout and puppy dog eyes Jongin is giving him makes it impossible.

 

Five hours and nearly nine beers each later, tensions have settled and lips have loosened. Sehun slams his controller down, pissed at having lost another round of Mario Kart to Chanyeol who is, apparently, unbeatable.

“How the fuck are you so good at this game?” he shouts, not angry, a little annoyed though. “Like, I never lose Mario Kart but you almost lapped me. Like, what the hell?”

Chanyeol smirks, something out of character for his usually quiet, reserved self. “I dunno, I’m just good I guess.” He adds a little shrug and shakes his empty beer, signaling the need for another round, which he stands to go retrieve.

“So,” Jongin says, leaning over so he can speak quietly, “you think Chanyeol’s gay?”

Sehun sputters, almost chokes on his last gulp of lukewarm beer. “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Jongin makes a face and shrugs, “I don’t know. I thought gay people could just like, sense it?”

“That’s stupid. You’re stupid.”

Jongin’s eyes narrow and he purses his lips. He’s just about to say something when Chanyeol reenters the room, three beers in hand. “Who’s ready to lose some more?” he teases, then hands a beer off to Sehun then Jongin.

 

Thoroughly wasted now, all three boys sit sprawled out across the small couch. Sehun is at one end with Jongin’s head in his lap, and Chanyeol at the other with one arm comfortably draped over Jongin’s legs.

“You know,” Chanyeol says as he picks some fuzz from one of Jongin’s socks, “there’s this guy I really like.” Jongin and Sehun share a knowing look. “I’ve liked him for a while now.” He’s not looking at the other two, just staring off into space, as if he were talking to himself. “But like, we’re really good friends, you know? Like…what if I say something and ruin our friendship?”

To Sehun’s surprise, Jongin sits up with a serious face and says, “Fuck it, dude. You gotta try.” He turns to Sehun, elbows him in the side to make him nod an agreement. “You like, can’t let that stop you from at least trying you know? Because like what if he does feel the same and things work out?”

Chanyeol is silent, just nodding along with Jongin’s inspirational words.

“Does he even like guys?” Sehun supplies, pessimistic as ever.

“He’s definitely shown interest in guys,” Chanyeol says with a smile that quickly fades, “just…never me.”

Jongin lies back down, returning his head to Sehun’s comfy, warm lap, and closes his eyes. “I say you still go for it,” he shrugs, “You never know if you don’t try.”

Chanyeol makes a face at Sehun when he notices his fingers curling through Jongin’s hair, then Sehun quickly pulls his hand away, fishes his phone from his pocket and pretends to be busy texting someone.

He wonders when Jongin became so opinionated. He frowns at his reflection in his now dimmed phone screen; if only he actually had the balls to take Jongin’s advice. If only his best friend had ever shown interest in a guy so he knew he even had a sliver of a chance with him. He gazes down at Jongin fast asleep in his lap and can’t help but smile; Jongin may be the reason for ninety percent of Sehun’s suffering, but he really does just love the fuck out of him.


	3. Chapter 3

The beginning of winter is, and always has been, Sehun’s least favorite part of each year. With his body still mostly accustomed to the summer heat, the mid-December wind cuts into him with a frigid sharpness.

It’s a Wednesday night and he had to escape to the library for some peace and quiet. There’s just no way he’ll pass his exams if he has to try studying through all the end of semester parties going on in his building right now. So, he trekked the half mile across campus through the wind and snow, and firmly planted his ass at a table in the library he doesn’t see himself moving from for a long time.

Of course, this is Oh Sehun and nothing ever goes as planned.

At first he doesn’t notice the guy two tables down from him. He’s got three different books open, not including his notebook he’s been furiously taking notes in, and he hasn’t lifted his head in the past hour. So, to him, the boy currently moving from two tables away to the seat directly across from him doesn’t exist.

It isn’t until the faint sound of a throat clearing jolts him from his train of thought that Sehun finally looks up. The boy smiling at him is…pretty. Really pretty. He’s got little round glasses perched just at the tip of his nose, nowhere near where they’d need to be if he actually needed them to see. His hair is a nice shade of bleached blonde and he’s got little pink, pouty lips. And then he smiles.

Sehun reaches over to poke at the pause button on his phone, then pulls one earbud out. “Um, hi?”

The boy leans forward on his elbows, places his chin in his hands and his smile widens, showing off two rows of perfect teeth. “I couldn’t help but notice you staring at me.” He bats his pretty eyes and smiles once again. Sehun just stares, confused. “Oh wait,” the boy speaks up again before Sehun can reply, “I was staring at you.”

He holds a hand out, it’s pretty, much like everything attached to it. “Baekhyun,” he says as Sehun takes his hand to shake it.

“You a freshmen? I’ve never seen you around.” He stares hard into Sehun’s eyes. “I knowI’d remember seeing you on campus.”

“Sophomore,” Sehun supplies.

“Senior. What’s your name?”

“Sehun.”

“What's your major?”

“Psychology.”

“Ooh, theater.” He shifts in his seat, now leaning against the back of the chair. “We’re from two different worlds, no wonder I’ve never seen you around.” He gives Sehun a devious little grin. “So, what’s your psychologist brain telling you about me?”

Sehun smiles, awed at how forward this guy is. “It’s telling me to…run?”

Baekhyun throws his head back and laughs loud; a few kids around them angrily shush him. “Smart brain,” he says coolly, adding a flirtatious wink at the end. He stands then, leaning with both hands flat on the table. “Well, Sehun, I’m gonna go sit back at my own table and study. But, in about,” he looks at his wrist where a watch would be, “an hour, I’m gonna get some much needed coffee.” He shrugs, “If you’d like to join me.”

“I might,” Sehun says, and he doesn’t know why he says it. Something about Baekhyun makes it hard to say no to him.

 

 _To: Jongin_  
_hey, getting coffee with a friend. be home later_  

He sends the text and slips his phone into his pocket. It’s been three minutes, they’re hardly two blocks from the library, and Baekhyun hasn’t stopped talking for more than five seconds. Sehun’s almost maybe beginning to regret this decision.

“So, what about you?” Baekhyun asks, looking up at Sehun as they walk.

Honestly, Sehun wasn’t even listening anymore, busy thinking about what Jongin might be doing back at the dorm. “Huh?” is all he says.

Baekhyun pouts, in that cute, rip your heart out way Jongin does. “You weren’t listening to me?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about someone.” Baekhyun’s eyes light up and Sehun just knows that he’s about to be bombarded with questions. “I mean…something. I was thinking about something. My exams.”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes but doesn’t say anything. Sehun knows he doesn’t believe him at all, but at least it seems to have shut Baekhyun up. For now.

 

They enter the coffee shop together and both let out a sigh of relief at the warm heat blasting their cold, snow-dampened skin. Sehun makes weak fists a few times, trying to get some blood back in his fingers and orders coffee quickly, looking forward to wrapping his hands around the hot mug.

He listens to Baekhyun order something with a long name, something with very specific directions and soy milk.

“What’d you get?” Baekhyun asks as he scoots up close next to Sehun at the pick-up counter.

“Coffee.”

“Man, you really don’t talk much, huh?”

“I talk a perfectly normal amount,” he’s handed his coffee and he thanks the barista, “you just talk way too much.”

Baekhyun sticks his tongue out. “Fair enough.”

Baekhyun gets his coffee, topped with whipped cream and sprinkles, and they cross the almost empty room to sit at a two person table at the back covered with a tattered used-to-be-white tablecloth. It’s normal, for a while. Baekhyun continues his rambling, pausing every so often to sip his drink.

At the ten minute mark Sehun nearly chokes on his coffee when he feels a hand grip his thigh, higher up than he would have ever imagined a near-stranger to touch him. Baekhyun, sitting noticeably closer to him now, continues talking, innocently batting his eyes and smiling like his fingers aren’t currently walking up the inner seam of Sehun’s jeans.

Sehun lets out a loud breath through tightly pursed lips and clears his throat. “Um, Baekhyun…what are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Baekhyun just smiles, starts drawing little circles, fingertips getting dangerously close to Sehun’s zipper. “Has anyone ever told you that you have really nice eyebrows?” Baekhyun asks softly, leaning in closer, invading Sehun’s personal space. The eyes he’s giving Sehun are screaming his lustful thoughts; Sehun has to admit Baekhyun is hot, he also thinks how much he’d love to see Jongin give him a look like that.

“Baekhyun,” Sehun says, finally breaking Baekhyun’s intense eye contact. He scoots to the far edge of his seat and breathes a sigh of relief when Baekhyun seems to take the hint. “Listen…I appreciate—”

“Oh!” Baekhyun interrupts suddenly, “You’re straight, aren’t you?” He covers his mouth with one hand and pats Sehun’s shoulder twice with the other. “I’m so sorry. I have the worst gaydar ever I swear. I’m so sorry!”

Sehun has this moment in his head where he doesn’t know what he wants to say. He’s never told anyone other than Jongin that he maybe, possibly is definitely bisexual. Baekhyun tips his head to the side confused, or maybe concerned with the face Sehun is making.

“Are you…confused?” Baekhyun asks carefully, like he’s had this exact conversation before and knows just how to go about it. “It’s okay you know, to not know.” His hand is back on Sehun again, but this time it’s devoid of all sexual desire. “Sehun?” He lowers his head, trying to meet Sehun’s eyes.

“I’m in love with someone,” is what falls from Sehun’s mouth. He’s surprised by the admission and stares open mouthed at Baekhyun. “My best friend,” Sehun continues for some reason.

“Oooh, what’s that face you just made?” Baekhyun asks, “C’mon, tell Baekhyunnie what’s troubling you.” His sweet smile turns into a concerned pout when Sehun remains silent and keeps his eyes down. “I’m a great listener, I promise.” He squeezes Sehun’s forearm and gives a tiny smile when the boy finally looks up at him. “Tell me about him.”

“We…we met in seventh grade.” He watches Baekhyun’s eyes soften; he can’t quite place it, but something about Baekhyun makes Sehun want to trust him. “He was new in school and I remember seeing him for the first time, walking toward me in the hall.” Sehun smiles, eyes focused somewhere far away. “I never felt attracted to a guy before, but the second I saw him I swear it was like the world stopped around me. Like, I had tunnel vision and all I could see…all that mattered was this kid that I didn’t even know.”

“That’s so cute, oh my god.”

Sehun blushes; he’s never told anyone this before and it’s embarrassing. “I probably sound so lame.” He takes a long drink from his coffee, hoping the color in his cheeks will fade some. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

“How did you two become friends?” Baekhyun asks, now completely invested in Sehun’s past.

“I thought he was following me home on the first day of school, but it turned out that he lived around the block from me. Like, right behind my house.” Sehun pauses again, taking a moment to relive happy memories. “He used to sneak out at night and hop the fence between our backyards to come hang out with me.”

“You really do have it bad for him, huh?” Baekhyun watches Sehun smile sadly. “Your whole face lights up when you talk about him. It’s adorable.”

“He’s straight and has no idea I have feelings for him.” He takes in an unstable breath and lets it out, closing his eyes when Baekhyun grabs his shoulder. “I’ve felt this way for seven years and every time I thought I was finally gonna tell him…I got scared.”

“That makes sense,” Baekhyun says softly, “you don’t want to ruin the friendship you guys have. I get it, I do. You know you can’t keep it up forever though, right? Like, one day he’s gonna do or say something that’s gonna crush you.”

Sehun focuses his attention on his fingers in his lap. He knows Baekhyun is right. “I know,” he whispers.

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, like I know we literally just met…but you really should tell him. If he really is your best friend he’ll understand.”

“I’m just so scared,” Sehun looks up; he still doesn’t understand why he’s telling a complete stranger his deepest, most personal secret. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Baekhyun looks like he’s going to go in for a hug but rethinks at the last second. “You know,” he says, getting that cheeky grin on his face again, “since you’re technically single, it wouldn’t be so bad if you came home with me tonight.”

Sehun frowns; is this guy serious? “Dude, what—”

“I’m only joking!” Baekhyun defends himself quickly, “I thought maybe I could get you to laugh.” Baekhyun stands and pulls his jacket on, zipping it up to his chin. “But for real though, are you sure you don’t wanna come home with me? You’re seriously like stupidly hot.” He winks and, when Sehun does laugh this time, Baekhyun laughs as well.

They exchange numbers before Baekhyun exits the café, and Sehun remains in his seat, just thinking. It feels amazing to have finally told someone about his feelings. His phone vibrates loudly on the table and he laughs.

_From: Baekhyun_  
_are u sure ur sure tho?_


	4. Chapter 4

Baekhyun is interesting, Sehun decides on their third time hanging out. He’s so unashamedly flirtatious, yet just distant enough to define their status as strictly friends. It has Sehun’s head spinning, in a good, entertaining way, he has to admit. Baekhyun is fun, plain and simple.

And on this cold, cold Friday night, neither having any classwork left to do, Baekhyun has Sehun in a dimly lit corner of a bar, shouting sweet, friendly nothings into his ear. They’ve both had quite a bit to drink; Baekhyun’s hands linger a little longer on Sehun than usual, but still, everything feels so incredibly casual. They’re friends, and that’s all.

Baekhyun talks Sehun into dancing with him. He’s blown away by how easily Baekhyun shakes his ass on the dancefloor, like there aren’t a hundred people around, some of them watching. It reminds him of Jongin; he’s always been a confident dancer. Sexy too. But, he and Jongin don’t really go to clubs, it’s not their scene. It surely isn’t Sehun’s scene, but being here with Baekhyun makes him feel as if he isn’t underdressed and that he actually does fit in. Still, he’d rather be in a dingy frat house gulping beer from plastic cups. 

Sehun is pouring sweat when Baekhyun finally decides he’s had his fill of dancing. He clutches the front of Sehun’s damp shirt and begins tugging him along, off the dancefloor, away from the strobing lights, and back to their dark corner table. 

Sehun sits on one side, thinking momentarily how he’s amazed no one took the table over while they were away. He thinks of Jongin for a moment, wonders what he’s doing right now. Then he focuses on Baekhyun across from him, flagging down a waitress, placing an order for another round of drinks for them. He smiles; Baekhyun sees from the corner of his eye.

“What’s the smile for?” Baekhyun asks once the waitress leaves. 

“I don’t know,” Sehun shrugs, “I’m just having fun, I guess.”

Baekhyun smiles now, too. “Only guess? You’re not sure you’re having fun?” He raises an amused brow at Sehun’s scandalized expression. “Only joking,” he says with a wistful wave of his hand. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.” He gives Sehun a look, one Sehun has trouble discerning with his alcohol clouded brain. “I’m having fun, too.” The waitress returns with their drinks, and they continue talking.

 

“Where are you taking me?” Baekhyun shouts through bellowing laughter. 

He’s been hoisted up onto Sehun’s back, his legs wrapped around Sehun’s narrow hips and arms around his neck. It’s cozy. He can’t stop laughing as Sehun struggles to keep a straight path along the sidewalk; Baekhyun knows he must be heavy, and the alcohol doesn’t help either. 

“Don’t drop me!” Baekhyun yells, laughs some more. He tugs at Sehun’s hair, trying to pull him in the opposite direction he’s leaning. “Oh my god, put me down.” He smacks at Sehun’s face, laughs at Sehun’s attempt to bite his fingers. “Put me down. Put me down!” 

“I was trying to be helpful,” Sehun says, out of breath, as he bends down to let Baekhyun climb off of him. “Why are you so heavy?” He looks Baekhyun up and down, trying to figure out where he’s hiding so much weight. Baekhyun notices, does a little spin that he finishes off with a wink.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he teases, pressing his palm flat against Sehun’s chest. He shivers and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Let’s go, I’m freezing.”

They remain silent for a while, listening to their feet hit the pavement as they walk. Sehun looks up at the clouds, gray and dull; he hopes it doesn’t snow. He wonders if Jongin will be awake when he gets home. His heart hurts and he shivers, suddenly cold. He can see his breath when he sighs.

“I wanna meet him,” Baekhyun says. He bumps his hip against Sehun’s and looks up to smile at him. “I’d like to see who’s so great that he’s got you all sad after such a fun night.” He’s hoping for Sehun to laugh, smile even, but he just shivers. “I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No. No, it’s fine,” Sehun insists. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it; he always just pops into my head.”

Baekhyun links his arm with Sehun’s and clears his throat. “I know it’s not really my place to say but…he’s stupid if he doesn’t see how amazing you are. Like, I just had the best time with you.”

Sehun’s taken aback by that comment, but doesn’t let it show on his face. Instead, he tightens his arm around Baekhyun’s and picks up their walking pace. “I kinda don’t wanna go home yet.” He sees Baekhyun’s smile from the corner of his eye. And then, he’s letting go and jumping in front of Sehun, putting both hands on his chest as he continues walking backwards. 

“I was so hoping you were gonna say that!” 

 

He doesn’t know how he got here, or why. Baekhyun is persuasive; his glimmering little grin helps, gets people to do what he wants. 

He’s seated in a chair, nice and comfy, padding on the arms that his fingers are digging into. From somewhere behind him he can hear Baekhyun giggling at his expense, and he just wants to sink into the chair and die.

The stripper is pretty. It was a funny idea; they’d laughed about it as they drunkenly stumbled into the strip club, laughed as they walked to the counter, giggled as Baekhyun dragged him to the chair he’s now sitting in. But, now that he’s here, lap dance going in full force, it’s a lot less funny. He feels weird, icky, kind of like he needs to go home and shower himself sober. And, Baekhyun just can’t stop laughing at him.

When his few minutes are up and the girl leaves them alone, taking with her a few bills Baekhyun dug out of his pocket, Baekhyun climbs over the arm of the chair and sits himself right on Sehun’s lap with his legs thrown to the side, that blinding smile back on his face.

“I’m so sorry, you looked so uncomfortable the entire time.” He’s apologizing, but the laugh he’s holding back makes it less sincere. “It was so damn funny though, oh god, I’m so sorry.”

Sehun’s hands are on Baekhyun, one on his thigh, the other on his waist keeping him steady. “I’m just glad it’s over, that was the worst. You’re the worst.”

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip as he smiles wide at Sehun. He doesn’t say anything, just holds eye contact, then hums while he drags the tip of his finger down Sehun’s chest. When he finally looks away he clears his throat and hops up off of Sehun’s lap. He holds his arms out to help Sehun up and they stumble together before catching their balance. 

“I’m too drunk to be in public, I think,” Baekhyun says, thankful for Sehun’s hand still on his waist keeping him steady. “Walk me home.”

Sehun nods and follows Baekhyun out of the club.

 

Baekhyun is walking backwards in front of Sehun again, a happy bounce in his step. They’re almost to his dorm, he realizes, so he slows his steps; he doesn’t want to go home just yet. All that’s waiting for him there is his small bed and leftover pizza, both incomparable to hanging out with Sehun.

“Why are you pouting?” Sehun asks; he turns Baekhyun around and drapes his long arms over his shoulders as they continue walking. 

Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t want to sound like a needy baby but like, I don’t wanna stop hanging out. I’m having a lot of fun.”

Sehun suddenly pulls Baekhyun back, laughing as he trips over his own feet, and shakes Baekhyun back and forth a little. “Then let’s keep hanging out,” he agrees; he’s having fun too. 

 

At 2:37am Sehun fumbles with his key, struggles to slide it into the lock, drops it and sighs, and finally, the door swings open. He looks up as he’s reaching down for his key and is greeted with the pleasant sight of a shirtless Jongin. But, Jongin isn’t looking at him, he’s staring at Baekhyun standing directly behind a bent over Sehun.

“Dude, it’s so fucking late what the hell,” Jongin says, unamused at the two drunk idiots giggling in the doorway.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Baekhyun!” He shoves his hand in Jongin’s face, waiting for him to shake it. 

Sehun straightens up and enters the dorm, pushing past Jongin and heading straight for the couch. His hand is wrapped tight around Baekhyun’s, dragging him along with him, and they fall onto the couch together, Baekhyun snuggling close to him.

Jongin sits on the chair beside the couch with a sigh. “You two look cozy. Should I leave?” He grins, raises an eyebrow at Sehun.

“No.”

“Yes.” Baekhyun teases, flipping over to rest his head in Sehun’s lap. He reaches up, tangles fingers in Sehun’s pretty, silvery-blond hair. 

“No,” Sehun reaffirms, “We’re just hanging out.”

“Sure,” Jongin says offhandedly, “just hanging out,” he mocks with a roll of his eyes. 

Baekhyun doesn’t like him already. He turns away from Jongin to make a displeased face before returning to annoying Sehun with his hands. He traces his fingers all across Sehun’s face, pokes at his neck, jams his pinky up his nose. 

“Show me your room,” he says quietly, not even bothering to look over at Jongin; he knows he’s got some dumb, smug look on his face. He bats his eyes up at Sehun, smiles when he finally looks away from Jongin to look down at him still in his lap.

“Uh, sure. Sure.” Sehun stands and leads Baekhyun to his room, face burning red at the kissy noises Jongin begins making at the two just before Sehun shuts his door.

 

“That’s the guy you like?” Baekhyun says with a hand on his hip. “He’s…kind of a jerk.”

“He’s not,” Sehun defends quickly. “He just gets irritable when he gets woken up.”

Baekhyun makes a face, deciding to drop it. “So,” he says instead, walking a slow circle around the room, “this is your room, huh?” Sehun hums, nods. “Not really what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“To be honest?” He turns to Sehun, “A Jongin shrine.”

Sehun rolls his eyes, “Shut up. I’m pathetic, not creepy.”

Baekhyun pushes his bottom lip out and steps closer to Sehun. “You’re not pathetic. You’re cute. It’s cute,” he corrects. He yawns then, “I’m tired.”

Sehun smirks, “You wanted to come here so you could cuddle with me, didn’t you?”

Baekhyun looks offended, “What? Of course not! I wanted to meet Jongin.” He grins, “But, now that you mention it, cuddling does sound pretty nice. I love a good friendly cuddle.”

Sehun’s eyes narrow, “Okay, but keep your hands to yourself.”

Baekhyun squeals and jumps into Sehun’s bed, patting the mattress beside him. “Hurry up, I’m not gonna cuddle myself.”


	5. Chapter 5

It’s mid-afternoon when Sehun finally rolls out of bed. He feels like shit and Baekhyun is gone. He expects the worst as he exits his room into the hallway, fears that Baekhyun will be sitting with Jongin, telling him about his best friend’s secret crush on him. But, it’s only Jongin in the dorm, sitting on the couch reading a book with the TV on quietly in the background. 

“Hey,” he says when he sits.

Jongin looks up at him over the top of his book. “Hey, have a good night?”

“Yeah,” Sehun nods, “Baekhyun is a lot of fun.” Jongin wiggles his eyebrows. “Not like that,” Sehun sighs. “We didn’t…I don’t…We’re just friends,” he settles on. 

“You can fuck friends,” Jongin shrugs, turning his attention back to his book. “He looks like he’d be your type.”

It’s not meant to, but it hurts Sehun’s feelings. He wants to shake Jongin, wants to tell him that he is his type. But, he doesn’t. “We’re just friends,” he says again.

“Alright,” Jongin says, but it sounds like he doesn’t fully believe Sehun. “Baekhyun was really drunk last night, you know how I know?” Sehun stares at Jongin, slightly scared to hear the next part of his sentence. “I’ve met him before, and he introduced himself to me like we didn’t know each other.”

“How do you know him?”

Jongin sets his book down on the table, keeping it open so he doesn’t lose his place. “He’s friends with Chanyeol. I think…” he rearranges now, scooting forward on the couch, “I’m almost positive Baekhyun is the friend Chanyeol was telling us about. You know, the one he has feelings for.”

“Small fucking world,” Sehun says.

“Small campus,” Jongin smiles. “Anyway, don’t let Chanyeol know you two were getting cozy last night, it would probably kill him.” Sehun nods, but doesn’t carry the conversation any further. 

 

“Hey!” Baekhyun greets Sehun with a big smile as he sits. “What classes are you taking next semester?” He doesn’t wait for Sehun to start listing classes before speaking again. “Do you have all your gen eds done? I have two left and I’m dreading taking them.”

He hasn’t even registered for classes yet. He knows he should have, weeks ago, when all the good sections were still open. The semester ended for him just today, having taken his last final exam just hours ago. He doesn’t want to think about classes right now, but here’s Baekhyun, talking about next semester already.

“How much coffee have you had today?” Sehun shakes his head; Baekhyun is more hyper than usual. “And no, I have one class left that I’ve been putting off because I really don’t want to take it.”

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hums as he sips from Sehun’s coffee he’d swiped off the table. “What class?”

“Sociology.”

Baekhyun slams his hand on the table and yelps excitedly, earning them a few concerned looks from others in the café. “Me too! Let’s take it together!”

“That’s probably a really bad idea.”

Baekhyun pouts, “Why? It’ll be so fun with you.”

“That’s why,” Sehun laughs, “I’ll never get any work done with you around.”

Baekhyun scoffs, “Please, I have a 4.0 bitch. I’m a good boy and do all my work,” he flutters his eyelashes. “I didn’t get a full ride scholarship for not getting straight A’s in high school.”

Sehun doesn’t know how to respond; he would have never guessed Baekhyun was a good student. “Fine,” he sighs, “Fine. Let me know which one you registered for and I’ll do the same.”

“You haven’t registered for any classes yet, have you?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the look Sehun gives him. “You go to those stupid frat parties too much, you should focus on your studies instead.”

“Yes, mother,” Sehun deadpans. “And don’t call frat parties stupid when you’ve never been to one.”

Baekhyun scoffs, “I’ve been to parties.”

“Not a frat party though, they’re way better. You should come with me some time, they’re fun.”

“Are you inviting me?”

Sehun shrugs, “Sure. There’s one tonight, actually. Me and Jongin are going, you can come with us.”

“Only if you promise I won’t be third-wheeling. I don’t wanna be ditched in a frat house.”

Sehun just shakes his head in disbelief. “Don’t you have an exam to go to?”

Baekhyun checks the time on his phone and jumps up, taking Sehun’s coffee with him. “See you tonight,” he calls over his shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee!”

 

When Baekhyun gets to the dorm Sehun does a doubletake, stopping mid-step in the living room to stare. “Wow.”

“I know right?” Baekhyun says, blowing Sehun a kiss. 

“I’ve never seen you wear makeup before.”

He’s in tight, dark washed jeans, ripped up the legs. His shirt is a loose button down, dark red and only half buttoned, exposing his collarbones, and the front is tucked into his pants. His hair is styled messily and the makeup around his eyes has him looking fierce. 

“You look good. I feel underdressed.” They both laugh. 

“Damn dude,” Jongin says when he enters the room, “You clean up nice.”

“Thank you.” 

“The sorority girls are gonna be all over you. They’re weak for dudes in eyeliner.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, “aren’t they all.”

 

“This is crazy!” Baekhyun is in awe; he’s never seen anything like this. Frats really know how to throw a party. “This is like a party in a movie,” he shouts over the music, tugging on Sehun’s sleeve. He watches someone throw a lamp across the room and gasps. “We’re all gonna get arrested.”

Sehun laughs and pats Baekhyun’s back. “When the cops come, we run out the back door through the bushes at the back of the yard.”

“We’ve never been caught,” Jongin adds, giving Sehun a proud look.

“That’s not very reassuring,” Baekhyun says, taking the red cup Jongin is holding out for him. “Keep me safe,” he whispers into Sehun’s ear as a large, muscled frat guy with a backwards hat on jumps onto a table and breaks it.

“You’ll be fine.”

 

Baekhyun is so not fine. He has no idea what’s in the punch he’s been drinking all night, but he’s absolutely wasted, tripping over himself and stumbling around the house, keeping a death grip on Sehun’s wrist so he doesn’t get lost, or fall. He can’t focus enough to remain in any conversations for too long, and he has to have Sehun help him with his pants when he goes to take a piss. It’s awkward and he feels bad, but he really didn’t think he’d be able to do it on his own. Sehun tells him it’s fine, that he’s done worse things for Jongin when he’s had too much to drink.

“Like what?” Baekhyun asks, head bobbing, trying to focus on the two Sehun’s standing in front of him.

Sehun smiles, a distant, fond kind of smile. “I’ve cleaned puke off of him. Carried him home…like literally carried him in my arms.” Baekhyun leans onto the bathroom counter, just smiling as Sehun talks. “One time I made him food because he was really hungry and too drunk to cook and then he passed out before it was even done cooking.” 

“You…tha’s sweet.” Baekhyun attempts to hop up onto the counter but misses; Sehun catches him and helps him up onto it. “I’m so drunk,” Baekhyun pouts now. “I don’ think I’ve ev’r been suh drunk.”

Sehun laughs, “I don’t think anyone has ever been as drunk as you are right now. You weren’t kidding earlier when you said you were a good boy.”

“M’not always a good boy,” Baekhyun says, hiccupping afterward. He’s giving Sehun a look, a very drunk but also maybe, sort of suggestive kind of look. 

“That’s true,” Sehun nods, “You did try to feel me up the day we met.” He helps Baekhyun when he tries to hop down from the sink, and steadies him. Baekhyun begins leaning forward, inching closer to Sehun. “We should find Jongin and get you home.”

Baekhyun stops leaning in and looks up, “Or, you could jus’take me.”

“Jongin has the key,” Sehun says, reaching to unlock the door.

“Oh, okay yeah.”

 

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun shouts when they finally find Jongin. He’s around the beer pong table playing partners with Chanyeol. “When d’you get here?” He throws himself at Chanyeol and gives him a hug.

“Wow, you’re drunk.” He laughs and moves Baekhyun so he can take his shot, he misses. “Jongin invited me, I got here like ten minutes ago.”

“Oooooh, I wa’sin the bathroom with Sehun.”

Chanyeol turns away from the game, missing Jongin making his shot. “What?”

Sehun notices the change in Chanyeol, the way he gets suddenly serious. It is Baekhyun, he thinks to himself. Jongin slaps Chanyeol’s shoulder, tells him it’s his turn to shoot. He does so quickly, misses again, then turns back to Baekhyun. The look on his face makes Sehun want to disappear.

“What were you two doing in the bathroom?” He tries to make the question sound light, tries to smile like he’s only curious, like the state of his heart doesn’t rely on the answer to his question.

“He had to help me pee ‘cause ‘m too drunk.” He smiles this giant smile that takes up half his face and breaks into a fit of giggles, leaning on Sehun to keep himself upright. 

Sehun really doesn’t want to be in this situation. He’s so uncomfortable it feels like his skin is crawling. 

“Y-yeah,” Sehun stutters, “he just needed help with his button.” He laughs, awkward and strained, “Like a little kid.”

Sehun likes Chanyeol, he doesn’t want to come between him and the guy he’s crushing so hard on. He didn’t like Chanyeol at first because of his and Jongin’s friendship, and he doesn’t want Chanyeol to dislike him now for the exact same reason. So, he pulls away from Baekhyun and moves to stand beside Jongin, strikes up a conversation with him about absolutely nothing, just to put some space between himself and Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“Dude,” Sehun whispers into Jongin’s ear, “I think Chanyeol thinks there’s something between me and Baekhyun.”

“Well yeah, no shit,” Jongin says, “have you seen what you two look like together?”

Sehun makes a stupid face, mouth hanging open, eyes unfocused. “No?”

“You guys are always all over each other. I know you guys aren’t fucking and I still question it sometimes.” Jongin looks over at Baekhyun for a second. “Like, you literally stopped what you were doing earlier when he walked into our dorm to tell him he looked good.” He laughs, “Just friends my ass.”

“Man, fuck you,” Sehun says seriously, no hint of a joke in his voice. He’s shocked with his own tone and quickly apologizes. “We really are just friends. I-I don’t like him like that.”

“Well, maybe you don’t, but…” Jongin looks over to Baekhyun again, who looks over and smiles bright at Sehun, gives him a cute little wave of his fingers. Jongin doesn’t finish his thought, but the look he gives Sehun says everything.


	6. Chapter 6

Baekhyun doesn’t remember leaving the party. He doesn’t remember being dragged by both Sehun and Chanyeol, his feet only partially working to carry him forward. He surely doesn’t remember when his head tipped onto Sehun’s shoulder and Chanyeol insisted that he scoop Baekhyun up and carry him the rest of the way. But, as he wakes up groggy with a pounding headache, he’s just glad he made it home alive after what he can only assume was a wild night.

His eyes snap open and he sits up, a little too fast because his head spins and stomach churns angrily. He can tell without even looking under the covers that he’s completely, totally, absolutely naked in Sehun’s bed. His heart begins pounding wildly in his chest. Sehun isn’t in the bed with him, so that’s a good sign. From where he’s sitting though, he can see his clothes scattered around the room, everything but one sock, which he realizes after a moment is still on his left foot. He sits forward and slips his legs off the bed, planting his feet on the carpet. He’s just about ready to throw the blanket off of himself so he can go retrieve his clothes when the door swings open. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” Sehun says, giving Baekhyun a cheeky grin that terrifies him. “We all kinda thought you might be dead.” He notices Baekhyun’s shocked expression and the clothes on his bedroom floor and, he chuckles, quickly moving to pick up and hand Baekhyun his underwear.

Baekhyun shoves them under the covers and slips them up his legs, then he finally stands to grab the rest of his clothes so he can get dressed. His face heats up; he’s not sure why he’s so embarrassed right now, but he can’t stop wondering why he woke up naked.

“So um,” he clears his throat once he’s got all his clothes on, “why uh…why was I naked? We didn’t— Like, nothing happened, right?” He can’t even bring himself to look up at Sehun he’s so mortified, and also terrified of whatever answer he’s about to be given.

“Well,” Sehun starts with an amused huff, “where do I even begin?” He sits on the bed, smiling at Baekhyun standing uncomfortably in the middle of the room. “What’s the last thing you remember from last night?”

Baekhyun grimaces, he just knows this is going to be one hell of a story. He doesn’t want to hear it, but he needs to know what happened so he can be the appropriate amount of ashamed of himself.

“I…remember seeing Chanyeol playing beer pong with Jongin.” He squints up at the ceiling, focusing hard on remembering any little part of last night. “And then I think I remember maybe, possibly…rain?”

Sehun just smiles and Baekhyun’s stomach drops. Oh god.

 

  

Baekhyun goes through twenty different shades of embarrassed blushing and hides his face in his hands. He could cry, honestly. Sehun recounts the events of last night to Baekhyun with excruciating detail and all Baekhyun can do is recede into himself a little further and try not to think about how much he kind of wishes he wouldn’t have woken up this morning. Afternoon, he corrects, when he looks at the clock on Sehun’s nightstand.

_After beer pong, Baekhyun had decided it would be a great idea to dance. So, dance he did. The frat wasn’t playing music that could be considered anything particularly upbeat, but Baekhyun was feeling it, and he surely was feeling himself as he shook his ass at anyone who would have him. But, all that movement wasn’t a good mix with the alcohol sloshing around in his stomach and he got sick, ran all the way to the bathroom with a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to keep the vomit down until he could make it to the toilet._

“But, the door was locked,” Sehun says, giving Baekhyun a sympathetic pat on his shoulder when he sits beside Sehun on the edge of the bed.

“I didn’t…” He doesn’t finish his question because Sehun just shakes his head before he can.

“You puked all over yourself. It wasn’t pretty.”

_Chanyeol, with Sehun’s assistance, helped Baekhyun upstairs to the second bathroom, intent on helping Baekhyun clean himself up. Chanyeol had the great, albeit stupid, idea to search the bedrooms for clothes that would fit Baekhyun, so he wandered off._

“I tried to get you out of your gross clothes, but you kept pushing me away and yelling at me. And crying,” Sehun laughs softly, “There was lots of crying.” Baekhyun groans; he hates himself right now. “I finally wrestled you out of your shirt and then you called me a pervert and then giggled and then you started crying again.”

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and sighs. His eyes are closed as he rubs at his temples with both hands. “Why can you not remember to do your homework, but you can remember the most embarrassing night of my life down to the last detail?”

Sehun throws his head back and laughs, “Because it was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, Baek. Like, oh my god. I was dying the whole time. You’re the worst drunk ever.”

Baekhyun bares his teeth and glares at Sehun who’s still laughing at his expense. “I hate you, so much right now.” He plucks at the front of his shirt and holds it close to his nose, sniffing it quickly before releasing it. “You might as well finish the story. I gotta know what other idiotic things I did last night.”

_Chanyeol had returned to the bathroom empty handed, told Sehun that every room he checked was already occupied by people having sex and he didn’t want to intrude. So they made the quick decision to just shove Baekhyun into the shower and hose him down like an animal with the detachable showerhead. It was a good idea in theory, but ended with Baekhyun crying again, but this time with no pants on. He’d taken them off in hopes that it would somehow convince them to stop spraying him with lukewarm water. After they crammed him back into his clothes and helped him back down the stairs, they found Jongin and they all began the short walk back to Sehun and Jongin’s dorm._

“I’m confused,” Baekhyun pouts, “Why did I wake up naked though?”

Sehun purses his lips and clears his throat, remembering what Jongin had told him at the party, that his thinks Baekhyun likes him.

“Well we got back here and you just kinda wandered in here and started stripping. I mean, probably because your clothes were still soaking wet.” He stands and walks to his door, then turns to look at Baekhyun who seems to be slowly getting over wanting to die. “I’m glad, to be honest, really didn’t like the idea of you ruining my sheets.” He laughs, it’s strained, and Baekhyun copies him, forcing out a laugh of his own. “I slept on the couch with Chanyeol. We cuddled and I woke up on the floor.”

“He push you off in his sleep?” Baekhyun asks, an amused smile spreading on his face.

“He sure did,” Sehun says, and they both smile before an awkward silence falls between them. Baekhyun stares at his feet, his earlier mortification returning as the full picture of just how bad last night was finally settles in his brain. Sehun picks up on his inner struggle and tries to cheer him up.

“Hey, at least you didn’t wake up naked because we had sex last night.” He smiles, “That would have been really awkward.” Baekhyun looks up at him with his mouth hanging open slightly and blinks twice. Sehun makes a popping noise with his mouth and fiddles with his door handle. “Well, I’m gonna go eat something. You should too.”

Baekhyun watches Sehun turn and leave the room, and he heaves a heavy sigh. What an absolute mess. 

 

 

“Well, well…look who it is,” Jongin says in a teasing tone that tells Baekhyun his embarrassment isn’t quite over yet. “I almost didn’t recognize you without your hands down Sehun’s pants.”

 The entire room silences. Blood rushes to Baekhyun’s face as his vision blurs; somewhere in his peripherals he can just make out Chanyeol looking at him. In a sudden flash the memory floats back into his mind. He remembers, vaguely, pressing himself against Sehun in the living room, in front of everyone, and trying to jam a hand into his jeans. Baekhyun thought he was mortified before when Sehun was recounting last night’s events, but that was nothing compared to this. Everyone is looking at him and he gulps, feeling suddenly hot.

He shoots a look to Sehun who isn’t looking at him, but staring down into his bowl of microwaved soup. Baekhyun’s eyes narrow as he continues staring; why had Sehun skipped over that part before?

He needs to speak, has to say something. Everyone is staring at him. He feels like he could throw up.

“I-I did that?” He’s looking to Jongin now, hating the look in his eyes. He looks pleased with himself for bringing this up. Baekhyun just wants an answer, but it seems Jongin just wants to toy with him; he takes a long sip from his coffee, rearranges in his seat. He’s enjoying Baekhyun’s obvious internal panic right now. How the fuck does Sehun like this guy? Honestly?

“You sure did. Just threw yourself at him and then dragged him to his room with you.” Jongin sits forward and chuckles, “You started ripping your clothes off before you even got the door shut.”

From beside him, he can hear Chanyeol let out a soft breath through his nose. He wants to slap Jongin right now. Who does he think he is? He knows Jongin knows that Chanyeol likes him. So, why is he bringing all this up in front of Chanyeol like it’s some funny joke? Baekhyun chances a look at Chanyeol, just a quick glance; he can see how uncomfortable he is, and Baekhyun feels the same.

“Nothing happened,” Sehun finally speaks up; when he raises his head it’s to give Jongin a dirty look.

Baekhyun watches Jongin roll his eyes and anger seethes through him. “We should probably go soon,” Baekhyun says to Chanyeol, feeling uncomfortable and unwanted by Jongin. He gives his best friend a sweet smile and breathes a sigh of relief when Chanyeol returns the gesture.

They leave soon after coffee. 

 

 

“What?” Sehun says, still grumpy from Jongin’s antics earlier. He’s leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. If he wasn’t so tired and slightly hungover, he’d have already gotten up and locked himself in his room.

Jongin has that smug grin on his face once again and Sehun is starting to really dislike it. Jongin leans forward, takes a smug little sip from his coffee mug. “Nothing,” he shrugs. “Just wondering why you didn’t fuck him last night?” He groans and gives a dramatic eye roll when Sehun remains still and silent. “Oh, come on! He likes you.” Jongin shouts, “What is your deal, dude? I know you think he’s hot, why aren’t you going for it?”

“Because!” Sehun can’t stand it. He can’t handle hearing Jongin speak another word about Baekhyun’s obvious feelings for him. “Because—” He should just say it, just tell Jongin the real reason. It would be so easy to do, and what a perfect opportunity. “Because I—” But Sehun is a coward and Jongin’s eyes are looking right at him, expression confused and curious. Sehun deflates, “I just don’t like him like that, that’s why.”

Jongin doesn’t respond, he just stares at Sehun momentarily, unamused, displeased with his answer. “Anyway,” he stands to go place his cup in the sink, turning to face Sehun while leaning against the counter. “Those Kappa Beta whatever girls invited us to their mixer tonight.” He takes a second to glare at the look Sehun gives him. “And I think we should go. It’ll be fun; their parties are always fun.”

“Yeah, for you,” Sehun mumbles bitterly, resting his chin on his palm.

“Man, you’re a fuckin’ downer today huh?” Jongin skips over to Sehun and plants his ass on the table right beside him. He reaches over to ruffle Sehun’s hair and has his hand slapped away. “Oh, come on, you know you had fun last time dancing shirtless on the bar.” He grins and nudges at Sehun with his elbow until the later smiles.

“Fine,” Sehun says, “I’ll go. But I swear to god if you ditch me again I’m gonna come right home and shit in your bed.” They both laugh and Jongin hops up, pulling Sehun along and into the living room with him where they turn the radio on and dance around like idiots, something they’ve always done together. Sehun laughs and smiles, and forgets about the way Jongin had treated Baekhyun. 

 

 

He knew this was a bad idea. He knew he shouldn’t have come.

He’d made it about an hour before being ditched. Up until that point they’d been having fun, drinking, laughing, easily being the center of attention in a packed room. But then a pretty girl walked by and caught Jongin’s attention, and it was all over after that.

“Hey,” Sehun says, he’s locked himself in the bathroom now, sitting on the floor with his back to the door.

“Hey yourself,” Baekhyun says, his voice comforting through the phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be at a party right now?”

“I am,” Sehun nods, “I am at a party.”

“And you’re calling me because…?”

Sehun can hear the smile in Baekhyun’s voice. He takes a deep breath and sighs, focusing on where his fingers are playing with the frayed tears in his jeans. “I don’t know,” he shrugs like Baekhyun can actually see him. “I’m in the bathroom, kinda over the whole party.”

A pause. “Jongin ditched you huh?” Sehun doesn’t answer and Baekhyun makes a disapproving noise. “Well, I’m eating pizza and watching cartoons if you wanna come over.”

“That sounds…like what I used to do when I was ten.” He listens to Baekhyun chuckle for a second, just a short gentle little laugh, and he smiles at the sound. As he stares at his fingers still tugging at his pants he thinks about how much he’d rather be hanging out with Baekhyun right now; he thinks about how he’s sure Baekhyun wouldn’t have abandoned him to get laid.

“Well, the offer still stands. You can sit alone at a party or come eat and watch SpongeBob with me. It’s your call.”

“…new or old SpongeBob?” 

 

 

He doesn’t bother trying to find Jongin and only second guesses texting him to let him know he’s leaving when he has the message typed out and ready to send. He backspaces and stares at the blank chat screen and, with a sigh, he exits the app and tucks his phone in his pocket. A few acquaintances stop him on his way to the door to make jokes about him leaving early, to ask if he knows where Jongin is; he doesn’t.

When the door to the house closes behind his back the silence is a welcome relief; he feels like he can breathe, like he can think clearly. He steps off the porch with the thought of Baekhyun in mind and he smiles; he’d sounded so excited on the phone when he told him to save him some pizza. He shocks himself with the thought that if Jongin weren’t in the picture, he could absolutely see himself liking Baekhyun. It makes him sad to think that, knowing Baekhyun has feelings for him. He hopes he’s not leading him on. He doesn’t want to be that guy. He just wants a friend. He doesn’t want to hurt Baekhyun.

_If u don’t hurry im gonna eat the rest of the pizza_

Sehun smiles at his phone and at the thought of tiny Baekhyun polishing off an entire pizza by himself. 

 

 

He makes it to Baekhyun’s just in time to catch the ending of his favorite episode of SpongeBob, and Baekhyun promptly shoves a slice of pizza into his mouth. They sing the ripped pants song together and Baekhyun forces Sehun to eat more.

“You need to soak up all that beer,” he says, “we have class early tomorrow.”

Sehun rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest, just begins chewing as Baekhyun watches him. It’s then that he sees it, what Jongin has been telling him. He can see the way Baekhyun looks at him, with big, hopeful eyes and a sweet smile. Baekhyun is the type to wear his heart on his sleeve and he wants so badly to give it away to Sehun. It scares Sehun so he pulls away, puts some distance between them on the couch. Then, against his better judgement, he allows Baekhyun to rest his head on his shoulder when he yawns. It’s like seeing himself with Jongin, he thinks, and it makes him sad.

“I’m so tired,” Baekhyun mumbles. His eyes are drooping as well as his head, and his hands are busy playing with the rips in Sehun’s jeans. “You can stay here tonight if you want, it’s pretty late.”

Sehun just nods; he can’t trust his voice not to break.

Baekhyun gets up and shuts the tv off, and turns to Sehun with a sleepy smile. “Do you want pillows or anything?”

He can tell that Baekhyun is hoping for him to say no, to say he’ll just come sleep in the bed with him. But, he’s not going to do that. “Uh, yeah sure,” he says, “maybe like a blanket, too?”

Baekhyun deflates just a little, just enough for Sehun to notice. “Oh. Uh, okay,” he sounds sad. “I’ll just go grab a—”

“Actually,” Sehun says, already hating himself for giving in so easily. He’s stupid and he knows it, but he absolutely hates hurting people’s feelings. “Is it cool if we just share the bed? I hate sleeping on couches…it always fucks up my back,” he adds as an afterthought.

“That’s totally fine,” Baekhyun says, and he holds his hands out to help Sehun up off the couch. Sehun lets himself be pulled up, even takes a minute to enjoy watching Baekhyun struggle to pull up his full weight. “Thanks for the help,” he finally jokes when he has Sehun standing upright.

They laugh and chat a bit as they slowly make their way to the bedroom, their soft voices echoing quietly off the wall in the hallway. Baekhyun slips his fingers through Sehun’s, something casual, something they’ve always done. But tonight, it feels different somehow, and Sehun panics.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he rushes out as he tugs his hand free from Baekhyun’s.

He gives himself a long hard look in the mirror once he’s locked in the bathroom. He’s gripping the edge of the vanity with both hands, feeling like he’s dangerously close to having his first ever panic attack. He doesn’t know why this is freaking him out so much; it’s just Baekhyun being Baekhyun. They’ve always been touchy with each other, have always held hands and cuddled; it’s always just been the way things are between them. But, Jongin scared him earlier today, and the night before at the frat party. He’s got this idea constantly swirling around in Sehun’s head that Baekhyun likes him, and he can see that now, has realized Jongin is right. He doesn’t know what to do with that. He feels like things are different between him and Baekhyun now, even if Baekhyun is unaware of it. How does he act now? How can he go crawl into bed with Baekhyun knowing he likes him? Knowing he’s doing nothing but leading him on?

Sehun sighs. He splashes a handful of water on his face and dries himself with a small towel lying on the counter. “What the fuck,” he whispers to his reflection. He gives himself a quick pep talk and exits the bathroom, mind set on keeping himself the friendliest distance he can manage while tucked under the same covers as Baekhyun.

His plan goes to shit almost immediately. He makes it just four steps into the bedroom before Baekhyun latches onto him and gives him a smile that would melt any other boy’s insides, but instead makes him squirm.

“I almost came in there to make sure you were okay,” he teases as they walk toward the bed. He throws the covers back and plops down onto the bed, patting the mattress beside him on the side Sehun will sleep. “I got a new comforter yesterday, it’s really soft.”

Sehun hums; he’s busy pulling his shirt over his head with his back to Baekhyun. Probably not the best decision, but he’s never been able to sleep with a shirt on, so no point in trying to start tonight. He tosses the shirt on the floor and turns; Baekhyun is laying back, head propped on a pillow but angled back and exposing his neck. He’s blinking slowly, rubbing small circles against his stomach with the palm of one hand. He looks…beautiful and, for a second, Sehun’s breath catches. He quickly rids himself of any thoughts before they can form, and finally gets in bed.

It’s quiet for a moment; Sehun can faintly hear Baekhyun’s soft breathing, and that’s the only sound in the room. He’s lying uncomfortably on his back with the blankets tucked up into his armpits. He feels it when Baekhyun shifts, can’t see it, but he just knows he’s turned to face him. He can feel Baekhyun’s warm breath grazing his neck now.

“I’m sorry Jongin ditched you tonight,” Baekhyun whispers. His fingers are lacing with Sehun’s again, his cheek coming to press against Sehun’s bicep. “He really doesn’t know what he’s missing in you.”

Sehun hasn’t the slightest clue how to respond to that. It’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to him, yet simultaneously made his stomach turn. So, he pretends he didn’t hear Baekhyun, giving him a confused ‘huh?’

“I just said-“ but he stops and sighs, then clears his throat. Sehun can feel the smile stretched across Baekhyun’s lips against his arm; he can feel when it disappears. “Nothing. Never mind.” Baekhyun rolls over and pulls the blankets up to his chin. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Sehun says, and for some reason his chest feels tight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are ready for the angst to begin. But don't worry, it doesn't last very long.

After Sehun’s realization, and an almost completely sleepless night, he makes it his sole mission to put a little distance between himself and Baekhyun. Not only does he not want to hurt Baekhyun, but he doesn’t want to lead him on. He still hangs out with him just as much, but he keeps a friendly distance. No more walking arm-in-arm, no more holding hands as they walk, and definitely no more cuddling in their beds during movie nights.

If Baekhyun’s noticed, he hasn’t said anything. And, Sehun prefers it that way. He doesn’t want to have that conversation, doesn’t want to have to hurt Baekhyun’s feelings. His life has gotten way too complicated for his liking.

 

Complicated, he soon realizes, is an absolute understatement. His life is a complete and utter mess, and he realizes while he’s six beers deep in a dimly lit bar, sitting at a round table with both Jongin and Baekhyun, that he no longer knows what he’s doing with his life.

He realizes also, that Jongin really likes to poke fun at him. It makes Baekhyun laugh, which Sehun enjoys, but he’s sitting still and silent, trying his best not to pout. He doesn’t know when he became such a sensitive boy, but his feelings are, admittedly, a little hurt by Jongin’s jokes. He sits back in his seat, watching Jongin talk animatedly to Baekhyun; he’s drowned out the conversation, which is nice, but he’s still annoyed.

When he finally zones back in to what’s going on at his table, he immediately wishes he hadn’t.

“Sehun doesn’t know how to be hit on,” Jongin says as he smiles, enjoying yet another chance to tease his best friend.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Baekhyun argues. Usually, he’d be annoyed with Jongin teasing Sehun, but he’s a little drunk and very curious as to what Jongin is going to say next. He looks to Sehun who’s hiding his face, already aware of the story Jongin is going to tell. “Tell me,” Baekhyun finally says, perking up, clutching his beer just a little tighter in anticipation.

“This guy one time told him,” he has to pause to laugh, “He said—” More laughter. “He came up to Sehun and told him he liked his hair.”

Baekhyun is focused on Jongin, but he doesn’t miss the groan that comes from Sehun. It makes him smile.

Jongin stops laughing once again. “And Sehun goes—” He bursts into a fit of laughter once more, slapping his hand on the table, on Sehun, anything at arm’s length. “Tell him what you said,” Jongin nudges Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun raises his head, unamused, cheeks red from the beer or embarrassment, or both, and he exhales slowly through his nose. “I said, ‘Thanks, I grew it myself’.”

At this, Jongin goes crazy and Baekhyun joins in this time, both laughing hysterically at Sehun’s expense. Sehun huffs and rolls his eyes, takes a long drink from his beer as he mumbles his hatred for the both of them under his breath.

Baekhyun might have an underlying, and growing, dislike for Jongin, but at least he’s good for spilling Sehun’s embarrassing moments.

 

A while later their beers are empty and Jongin offers to go get another round from the bar. Sehun feels better now that his alcohol intake has had time to come into effect, but he still is a little angry with Jongin.

Baekhyun reaches across the table and grabs Sehun’s forearm. “You alright?” he asks, giving Sehun those concerned eyes. Sehun smiles, but shrugs. And tonight, Baekhyun’s just drunk enough to let his mouth run. “You know, Jongin really is a jerk. I don’t know why you like him so much.” His drunk eyes are closed as he talks, so he doesn’t notice the wide-eyed look Sehun is giving him. “I’m so much nicer to you than he is,” Baekhyun says with a pout.

Sehun watches Baekhyun open his eyes and remains silent; he never knows what to say to Baekhyun when he’s being too honest like this. Or, maybe it’s the years spent being emotionally ignored by Jongin that has him unable to properly respond to someone being genuinely sweet to him. He just stares at the sadness in Baekhyun’s eyes, the look contrasting the small smile on his lips.

“You—”

Baekhyun is cutoff by Jongin coming back to the table, and Sehun is grateful for that. Jongin doesn’t sit, and he’s only carrying two beers that he places on the table. One for Sehun, one for Baekhyun.

“Done drinking?” Sehun asks, sliding his beer closer to himself.

“No, actually I’m—” He pauses to close one eye and point his finger across the room; Sehun’s eyes follow it and land on a pretty girl standing not too far off, staring back at them. “—going back to her place.”

“Oh,” Sehun says, trying so hard to hide his emotions. “Cool.”

Baekhyun scoffs, hides the roll of his eyes by taking a drink from his beer. Jongin doesn’t miss it though, and he turns his body toward Baekhyun. “Is there a problem?”

Sehun’s heart stops. Jongin may be a sweet, carefree guy, but he’s never been one to hold his tongue when he thinks someone has done him wrong or is judging him. Sehun holds his breath, just waiting for Baekhyun to speak.

Baekhyun swallows the beer in his mouth and clears his throat; his sly smirk terrifies Sehun. “No, not at all,” Baekhyun says, being obviously sarcastic.

Sehun can see Jongin’s blood beginning to boil, his already short fuse cut even shorter thanks to his level of intoxication. Jongin looks seconds away from pushing Baekhyun backwards out of his stool. Sehun fears this isn’t going to end well.

But, to Sehun’s surprise, Jongin simply clenches his jaw and retreats, leaving Sehun stunned silent, staring at Baekhyun in shock.

“I thought he was going to punch me,” Baekhyun giggles.

“Me too,” Sehun admits.

 

They stay at the bar for another hour before deciding to call it a night. They’re both blissfully drunk, and tired, and they have to get up early for class tomorrow. Baekhyun pays the tab, they both make a quick stop at the bathroom, and then they’re off walking down the sidewalk toward campus.

They don’t make it very far before getting sidetracked by a small playground off to the side of a street usually busy during the day. Baekhyun squeals and runs for the swings before Sehun has a chance to protest. And, by the time Sehun catches up to Baekhyun, he’s already sitting on a swing happily kicking his legs, and it’s just too adorable a sight for Sehun to do anything other than offer Baekhyun a push. So he does, and for the next ten minutes they both laugh and shout as Sehun pushes Baekhyun on the swing.

Baekhyun excitedly yells a ‘higher, daddy, higher’ as kids often do in movies. He promptly stops his swing to turn to Sehun so they can share a knowing, distasteful look. “I’m so sorry I just said that,” Baekhyun laughs.

“Yeah, the internet has pretty much ruined that word,” Sehun says, helping an off-balance Baekhyun stand up. “Should probably try to steer around that word from now until the day we die.” Baekhyun nods in agreement.

After Baekhyun has had enough swinging, they walk around the playground a little; Baekhyun goes down a slide and lands hard on ass. Sehun promptly helps him up, trying his best not to fall over as well because he’s laughing so hard, and Baekhyun gives him a playful shove for laughing at him.

Baekhyun has the bright idea to make Sehun try to do a pullup on the monkey bars. He tells Sehun it’s because he wants to see how strong he is, but really he just thinks it’d be hot to see him do it. He doesn’t tell Sehun that, of course.

“Oh come on,” Baekhyun teases from somewhere behind Sehun, “Is that all you got? Not even one pullup?” He scoffs, puts a balled fist over his mouth to try to stifle his laughter. “I thought you were strong?”

At that, Sehun grunts and musters all his strength his drunken biceps can manage, and does three pullups in quick succession.

“Okay wow that was hot,” Baekhyun says, voice flat.

Sehun drops to the ground and turns with an evil grin that makes Baekhyun hold his breath. He grabs Baekhyun by the arm and tugs him closer, so that he’s standing under the bars now too, and Sehun steps back, staring expectantly at Baekhyun.

“Your turn now,” is all he says, then he motions between Baekhyun and the monkey bars.

“I— w-what? I-I can’t do a pullup.” He looks up; he probably can’t even reach the bars if he’s being honest. He opens his mouth to protest more, but yelps instead. Sehun has his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, lifting him up.

“A little boost for the short one,” Sehun teases, and he’s entirely too close to Baekhyun’s face to be speaking in a voice that low.

Baekhyun gulps; Sehun’s so much more attractive this close up. He forgets what he’s supposed to be doing and just stares at Sehun instead. God, he could kiss those lips right now. It would be so easy, just another few inches closer is all it would take. He doesn’t realize that his breath is coming out in unsteady huffs, but Sehun does. He realizes then, too, what an oddly compromising position he’s put them in: their chests pressed together, his arms wrapped around Baekhyun. Without thinking it through, Sehun releases Baekhyun and, when Baekhyun falls, his face collides with Sehun’s chin.

“Oh shit!” Sehun gasps and hurries to pull Baekhyun up from the ground. “Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry!”

Baekhyun’s got both hands over his left eye and his face is twisted in pain. He groans out something unintelligible and Sehun gives him a confused ‘what’?

“I said,” Baekhyun gives Sehun’s chest a weak punch with his hand not covering his eye, “you’re an idiot.” He drops his hand and Sehun’s jaw drops. “What?” Baekhyun asks, terrified.

“Oh dude…you have a black eye.” He raises his hand, intent on poking at it, but Baekhyun slaps his hand away. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to drop you like that.”

Baekhyun glares, “It’s because your stupid, perfect, pointy chin.” He pouts and crosses his arms, “It hurts.”

Sehun feels terrible, he truly does, but Baekhyun looks adorable pouting like that, especially with a little black bruise under his eye. “Want me to carry you home?” Sehun offers, like the gentlemen he is, though the sentiment is ruined by his slight chuckle he tries his best to hide.

Baekhyun glares but holds his arms straight out. “Yes, carry me. It’s the least you could do after bruising my beautiful face.”

Sehun smiles at his idiotic, ridiculous friend standing in front of him holding his arms like a child waiting to be picked up by a parent. “I’m not carrying you like a baby,” he says, amused. “I’ll give you a piggyback ride though, if you want.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun huffs, “I do want.” Then, he proceeds to clumsily climb up onto Sehun’s back. Once his legs are securely around Sehun’s middle he begins walking, and smiles when Baekhyun rests his chin on his shoulder.

This is one of those things that sober Sehun told himself he wouldn’t do anymore. This is much too close, there’s too much contact. He can smell Baekhyun’s cologne, and it smells great, but he shouldn’t be this close. But, the warmth of Baekhyun on his back is comforting as he drunkenly makes his way toward home. The weight on his shoulders, the thighs squeezing his hips tightly, Baekhyun clinging to him like this is familiar. It’s comfortable.

If Sehun were sober, he’d be thinking about Jongin right now. He’d be thinking about how upset he is that Jongin went home with some girl from the bar. He’d probably still be at the bar drinking his sorrows away. Baekhyun is a welcome change. If he didn’t have Baekhyun he wouldn’t be laughing, stumbling drunk through campus. He smiles and slows his pace.

“I’m so happy we met,” Baekhyun mumbles against Sehun’s neck, half-asleep. “I have so much fun hanging out with you.”

“Me too.” He can feel Baekhyun trying to snuggle closer to him, pressing the cold tip of his nose to Sehun’s warm skin; Sehun smiles, readjusts his grip on Baekhyun’s legs.

“Do you think you could ever like me?” Baekhyun asks, voice gentle, but still loud in Sehun’s ear.

His cheeks immediately burn red as his blood pressure sky rockets. He doesn’t know what to say to that; he doesn’t know if words would even come out of his mouth if he tried to respond. He gulps and tries to calm himself down, tries to think of anything he could possibly say, or maybe a joke to lighten the situation. But, before it comes to that, he can hear the quiet sound of Baekhyun gently snoring. He lets out a heavy breath and shakes his head. That was close.

 

Baekhyun sleeps until Sehun wakes him. They’ve stopped in front of Baekhyun’s apartment and Sehun helps him shimmy down his back and onto the sidewalk.

“Sorry for sleeping the whole way,” Baekhyun mumbles tiredly. “You should’ve woke me up and made me walk.” He gives Sehun this big smile before shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets; he shivers.

Sehun knows he’s drunk because, without hesitation, he pulls Baekhyun in for a tight hug. His longs arms wrap completely around Baekhyun, and they just stand there like that for a moment, Baekhyun just being held by Sehun. And for that short time, Sehun doesn’t feel like letting go. He doesn’t think about hurting Chanyeol. He doesn’t think about how he’s leading Baekhyun on. He doesn’t even think about Jongin. The only thought in his mind is how he wants to keep Baekhyun warm, and how good it feels when Baekhyun pulls his hands from his pockets to wrap his arms around Sehun’s waist.

He squeezes tight and realizes Baekhyun just fits so perfectly, tucked away in Sehun’s arms, like something fragile he needs to handle with care. He pulls back and looks down. Baekhyun is smiling up at him, eyes searching his face, those big hopeful eyes. And that’s what snaps Sehun back to reality.

“Well, good night,” he says, turning to look away from Baekhyun. “Tonight was fun. Sorry about your eye though.”

“Do you wanna come up?” Baekhyun asks, “It’s cold.”

Sehun thinks, he holds eye contact with Baekhyun and thinks long and hard about this decision. If he says no, he’ll have to walk all the way back to his dorm, drunk, cold and tired. But, if he says yes, he’ll be giving Baekhyun the wrong impression yet again. His head hurts.

Baekhyun’s hopeful expression begins to shift, something closer to regret, embarrassment maybe. He looks around, everywhere but at Sehun and smiles. “I’m sure you want your own bed, never mind. Forget I asked.” He skips up the steps of his building and turns to give Sehun one last look, a final bright smile. “Night, Sehun. See you tomorrow.” And with a little wave, he slips inside.

Sehun blinks at the door, half expecting Baekhyun to open it again. But, he doesn’t. “I should have went inside,” he realizes.

 

Morning comes much too early and the sun is too bright, and Sehun feels like absolute shit. He, unfortunately, remembers last night in perfect detail, down to the way it made him feel when Baekhyun stood in front of his door smiling at him like he’s the best thing that ever happened to him.

He rolls over and groans, totally not ready for the long morning he has ahead of him. It’s with great effort that he drags his ass out of bed and gets himself ready in time to meet up with Baekhyun before class.

 

Sehun is not fond of early classes, but Baekhyun buys him coffee each morning, so it’s tolerable. Sehun is so not a morning person. But Baekhyun is, though, and it’s aggravating. Sehun is barely half a person at 9am, while Baekhyun already has the pep in his step for the day and, quite frankly, Sehun sometimes has to fight the urge to beg Baekhyun to stop talking as they walk across campus together.

This morning is one of those mornings.

It’s snowing. It’s not cold enough to stick to the ground, but it’s coming down just enough to annoy an already annoyed Sehun. The flakes keep pelting him right in the face and Baekhyun is being his usually cheerful self, rambling on about something Sehun is too aggravated to listen to. The slight hangover he’s nursing probably doesn’t help, but that’s his own fault for not knowing how to say no to Jongin when he wants to go out drinking on a school night.

“Are you even listening to me?” Baekhyun says suddenly, looking up at Sehun, wearing those round glasses he just now realizes must actually be Chanyeol’s, because they look just like the ones he wears. The lenses are covered in little water droplets and Sehun wonders how that doesn’t bother Baekhyun. It also seems he’s tried to cover the black eye he’d gotten last night with makeup; it worked, but only slightly.

“No I’m not, actually,” Sehun says, and instantly, he regrets the tone he’d used.

Baekhyun lets out a soft, “Oh”, and looks down at his feet. He side-eyes Sehun quickly. “Are you…mad at me or something?” Sehun just sighs and stops walking. “Did I do something wrong? Like—”

Something inside Sehun breaks and he lets out an angry huff. “Oh my god, Baekhyun! I’m not your boyfriend! So, stop acting like I am.” He watches Baekhyun’s eyes shift, sees his expression fall. “We’re just friends, dude. Just. Friends.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says quietly, still looking at the ground. His knuckles are white from the grip he’s got on his backpack straps, and he looks like he could burst into tears at any moment. The concealer-covered black eye adds to it, and Baekhyun looks like a kicked, pathetically sad puppy.

He feels terrible; he doesn’t know why he just snapped at Baekhyun like that. “Fuck,” he swears, watching his breath puff out into the air. “I’ll see you later,” he says, turning quickly to walk in the opposite direction of their class.

 

“Hey? Dude?” Jongin says in confusion. He’s lazing comfortably on the couch with a hand in his sweatpants. “I thought you had class?”

“I do,” Sehun says. He kicks his shoes off a little too hard and they fumble across the room on the floor.

“You uh…everything alright there?”

Sehun flops onto the couch, Jongin moves his feet out of the way just in time to avoid being sat on. “Yeah,” he answers, “probably.”

“Probably?” Jongin rolls his eyes, “Care to explain, vague boy?”

He rubs at his face with both hands and sighs. “Baekhyun fucking likes me and…I-I don’t know what to do about it.”

Jongin sits up now, sucking a breath in through clenched teeth. “Not to be that dick, but I told you a month ago he liked you.” Sehun’s glare is intense and makes Jongin raise defensive hands up in front of him. “I’m just saying.”

“Dude, what the fuck do I do?”

“If I know you as well as I think I do, I’d say start with apologizing, because I know you probably just said some mean shit to him before you stormed in here all pissed off.” He shrugs. “Then just tell him you don’t like him,” he shrugs, “Even though you obviously do,” he mumbles under his breath.

“I told you before, I don’t like him!” He’s raising his voice and he doesn’t even know why. “We’re—”

“Just friends,” Jongin finishes for him, having heard it a thousand times. “Friends that cuddle and hold hands and go on cute ass little dates to cute ass little coffee shops together.” He stares at Sehun long enough to let him know he’s being absolutely serious. “You guys are literally the cutest fucking couple I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to puke, but you’re too stupid to realize you like him.”

“If you say I like him one more time, I’m going to hit you,” Sehun says, mostly joking, but at this point he just might take a swing at Jongin.

“I’ve seen you fight, I’m not scared. You like Baekhyun, deal with it.”

Jongin stands and leaves before Sehun can get in the last word. And, Sehun remains on the couch, slouched down and pouting. He doesn’t like Baekhyun, that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. And coming from Jongin, it’s just hurtful. If only Jongin knew the truth, he wouldn’t be insisting Sehun likes Baekhyun.

“Oh my god,” Jongin laughs as he reenters the room now holding a glass of water. He walks over and grips Sehun up, pulling him off of the couch. He begins pushing him toward his room. “You look pathetic. Go take a self-pity nap, you’ll wake up and feel better.”

“I guess,” Sehun grumbles, and lets himself be pushed into his room. Jongin walks him to his bed and even tucks him in, blows him a little kiss on his way out the door.

 

He wakes up from his nap a little out of it, and still feeling shitty.

He knew Baekhyun was right when he’d said it at the coffee shop so long ago, but still, he didn’t quite expect it to happen so soon. He just wanted to go tell Jongin his nap idea didn’t work, that he still feels bad about how what he did earlier. He never knocks on Jongin’s door anymore, it’s a habit now for either of them to just waltz in. A bad habit, as they’ve both walked in on each other jerking off more times than they can count. But this time it’s different. This time it isn’t just Jongin alone in his room. There’s a dark haired girl somewhere under him, Sehun can just barely make her out from the angle he’s seeing things from.

His heart aches as he shuts the door, quietly so Jongin doesn’t hear. He leaves the apartment, fighting tears, wanting to just find somewhere quiet to curl up.

 

He doesn’t even realize he’d been walking, doesn’t know how he ended up in the middle of campus. He stops walking suddenly, taking a moment for himself in the middle of the crowded sidewalk to just breathe. His eyes close; he takes in air through his nose and blows it out through pursed lips. He hates himself right now. He pulls his phone from his pocket, side-stepping out of the heavy foot traffic after getting a few dirty looks.

“Hey,” he half-shouts into his phone; he’s got his opposite ear plugged with a finger so he can hear. “Uh…I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now but—”

“Not at all,” Baekhyun interrupts, “Are you calling to yell at me again?”

“Look, Baekhyun I—,” he has to force the last half of the sentence out, “I’m sorry. Can I please come over so we can talk?”

“I’m busy right now.”

Sehun sighs; he knows he absolutely deserves this coldness from Baekhyun, but it still sucks. He chews at his bottom lip, fighting to keep the image of Jongin and the girl out of his mind. “Please, Baekhyun,” he says softly, “Just…please, can we talk?”

There’s a pause; Sehun holds his breath, nerves coming close to snapping as each second passes without Baekhyun speaking.

“Fine.”

“Okay, alright cool. So—”

“Here’s the deal though,” he interrupts again, “I’m having mandatory movie night with Chanyeol right now…so, you’ll have to sit through that with us. We can talk after the movie, after Chanyeol leaves.”

Sehun knows he’s got that stupid look on his face, the blank one, where his eyes lack any sign of life. He covers the microphone of his cell and sighs loud, annoyed. He realizes his only other option is sitting in his living room waiting for Jongin to be done having sex. 

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”


	8. Chapter 8

It’s awkward. So terribly awkward. He’s wedged against the arm of the couch, Chanyeol sitting between him and Baekhyun, oblivious to the tension between them. Sehun tries to just give the movie all of his attention, but he can feel Baekhyun staring at him every so often. And then there’s Chanyeol, hopelessly crushing on Baekhyun, while Baekhyun likes Sehun. What kind of fucked up love triangle is he living right now. 

It’s a long hour before the movie finally ends. Sehun is relieved, he just wants to finally talk to Baekhyun, to get it over with, to lose his only friend. So, when Chanyeol doesn’t leave, Sehun has to close his eyes and calm himself.

Since it seems Chanyeol is going to be staying for a while, Sehun decides to use this opportunity to watch the way Chanyeol acts around Baekhyun. So, he pays close attention to Chanyeol. He watches his every move in relation to Baekhyun, watches the way Chanyeol’s eyes always flicker over to Baekhyun, how he searches Baekhyun’s expressions for any sign that he just may feel the same for him.

Sehun thinks it’s embarrassing, and it fucking hurts. Is that what he looks like when he’s with Jongin? Does he look that hopelessly pathetic? How does Jongin not notice, if he looks at him the same way Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun? Like his smile is the sun his heart revolves around.

He gulps, suddenly dying of thirst. “I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

Sehun gives Chanyeol a look when he turns his back to Baekhyun, hoping he understands he’s asking him to follow. He stands and begins walking, letting out a silent relieved sigh when he hears Chanyeol mumble something about getting a drink as well.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Sehun questions, backing Chanyeol against the counter. He already knows the answer, of course, but he wants to hear the admission straight from Chanyeol’s mouth. “Baekhyun is the friend you were telling me and Jongin about.”

Chanyeol’s face falls. “It’s that obvious?” He covers his face with one hand, “Yeah…yeah it’s him.” He looks up, eyes narrowed, “How did you guys meet?”

“He—” Sehun stops himself, deciding to lie to spare Chanyeol’s feelings. “We met in the library a few months ago.” Okay, so not a total lie, just omitting some facts, like how Baekhyun was hitting on him.

“He was hitting on you, wasn’t he?”

Sehun doesn’t move, or speak. What the hell does he even say to that?

“God, I’m so stupid,” Chanyeol whispers. “Did— You guys aren’t…”

It takes Sehun a second, but when he realizes what Chanyeol is hinting at, his eyes widen. “No!” He waves his hands between them, “No. We’re friends. Just friends.” He scratches the back of his head, “He’s not really my type.”

Chanyeol looks over Sehun’s shoulder at Baekhyun on the couch, staring down at his phone. “Really?” he asks, awed at the fact that someone doesn’t think Baekhyun is the best person in the world. “What is your type then?”

Sehun smiles, thinks about Jongin. Then he thinks about what he’d just witnessed back home, and he groans. “I…don’t know, honestly.”

“I know you like Jongin, it’s really obvious to everyone. Except for him, apparently.”

“Yeah, I know I’m obvious as fuck about it, okay?” Sehun walks to the fridge to finally find something to drink. “There is literally only apple juice in here.” He makes a face and closes the fridge, decides to get some water from the tap.

“Baekhyun likes you,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun chokes on his drink of water, coughs it back into his glass.

“What?” Sehun asks, trying his best to play dumb. “No, I told you, we’re friends.”

Chanyeol’s smile is sad, “To you maybe, but I know Baekhyun. He likes you a lot.”

Sehun sighs, “I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”

He shrugs, “You don’t have to be sorry, he can like whoever he wants. It sucks, but he can.” He bites his lip and shakes his head. “I just don’t understand why it’s never me.”

“I know the feeling.”

They make eye contact, understanding each other’s pain. They’re both in the same boat, both pining over someone who doesn’t want them. 

“I came over here because I accidentally walked in on Jongin fucking some girl.” He sighs and places his glass in the sink. “Also because I needed to apologize to Baekhyun; I said some dumb shit to him this morning and I’ve felt awful ever since.”

Chanyeol nods; he hates that Baekhyun likes Sehun, but he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. “You’re a good guy, I see why he likes you.” He forces a smile, “I’ll get going then, so you guys can talk.”

 

Sehun sits on the couch, stares straight ahead without a word. He’s breathing slowly, trying to figure out what he wants to say. He keeps peeking over at Baekhyun, still busy typing away on his phone. He wonders what he’s doing, if he’s playing that stupid word game that always pisses him off because he’s bad at it.

“Where’d Chanyeol go?” Baekhyun asks minutes later when he finally looks up. “Did you yell at him too?”

Sehun gulps, uncomfortable, rubs his palms nervously over his knees. 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says and Sehun’s head whips up.

“For what?” he asks, genuinely confused. 

“What you said earlier…this morning, you were right. I do act like we’re more than we are sometimes. So, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for that.”

“No, I do,” Baekhyun insists, shaking his head, “because…I do it on purpose.”

Sehun squints; he wishes Baekhyun would lift his head so he could see his eyes. He knows why Baekhyun does it; he’s stupid, but not that stupid. Still, he wants to hear Baekhyun’s reasoning. “Why?”

Baekhyun has his bottom lip sucked in; he’s chewing at it nervously. “You’re so in love with Jongin you don’t even realize how much I like you.”

It’s like a punch to the gut. He knew already, has known for a long time, but actually hearing Baekhyun say it is different. He just looks at Baekhyun, trying his best to think of something, anything to say to him. But, his mind is blank. 

“I told Chanyeol earlier that I like you.” Baekhyun is speaking so low it’s nearly a whisper, but now he’s at least looking at Sehun. “I told him I know he has feelings for me, too.” He tries to smile but he just looks in pain instead. “It was…awkward, but I’m glad we talked about it.”

“That’s good,” Sehun manages to say. And, what comes out next is unplanned, unexpected; it all falls from Sehun’s mouth in a hurried jumble. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you earlier I’ve felt like shit since this morning and I took a nap to feel better but I woke up and walked in on Jongin fucking some girl in our dorm and now I feel worse and…” He chokes in a sudden breath; he knows he’s about to start crying. “…And, I’m just really sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have yelled at you this morning. I wish you didn’t like me, you deserve someone so much better than me.”

He closes his eyes and the tears fall. Baekhyun’s mouth is open; he looks shocked, or concerned. Both. He immediately reaches out for Sehun without a second thought. For a few minutes they sit together, until Sehun finally calms himself.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Baekhyun says softly, pushing some of Sehun’s bangs out of his eyes. 

Sehun shrugs, then nods. “I think— I think I’m gonna go talk to him.” He sighs, “I need to get this over with already, it’s been long enough.”

Sehun gets his shoes on and stands at the door, mentally prepping himself for the worst case scenario. Baekhyun gives him a thumbs up and a weak smile, and then Sehun is gone. 

 

Sehun paces in front of his door for a few minutes, breathing, panicking, trying to gather his thoughts. He doesn’t even know where to begin with this; he doesn’t know how to tell Jongin he’s in love with him and has been for years. He fears Jongin’s reaction, fears rejection. He’s scared he’ll lose Jongin completely. But, he knows he has to do this.

He bounces up and down a few times, mentally psyching himself up, and then opens the door. 

Jongin is on the couch, but he’s not alone. There’s a boy Sehun has never seen before sitting beside Jongin, no space left between them. His bravery deflates at the sight of this stranger, and he waves, not moving from the doorway.

Jongin and the boy look at each other and share a quick smile. The boy stands, they exchange goodbyes, and then it’s just Sehun and Jongin.

Sehun sits. “Who was that?”

Jongin clears his throat, “Kyungsoo, he’s in my Astronomy lab with me.”

Sehun has a suspicion, he’s scared, but he has to know. “What happened to the girl that was here?” Jongin’s confused look gives Sehun his answer, and now he has to hold himself together, and lie to Jongin. “I just…thought I heard you in your room with someone before I left earlier.”

Jongin looks guilty when he smiles. “About that.”

Sehun closes his eyes; he doesn’t want to look at Jongin when he says what Sehun knows he’s about to say.

“It wasn’t a girl. I was with Kyungsoo earlier…in my room.” He rubs the back of his neck, looks anywhere but at his best friend. 

Calmly, almost so calm it’s scary, Sehun stands and begins walking to the door.

“Fuck,” Jongin whispers, jumping to his feet. He scrambles to catch Sehun before he makes it to the door, grabbing his arm just before he can reach the doorknob. “Sehun—”

“You-you’re not straight,” he cries, chin trembling. The tears spill over and slide down his cheeks. “It’s just me. You just—” he sucks in a quick breath, hiccups on a sob, “You just don’t like me.”

Sehun’s eyes slowly slide up until they meet Jongin’s; he blinks, more tears fall. He doesn’t know what to say, or what he even wants to say. Nothing could convey how hurt he feels right now. 

“Why him?” is what finally comes out of his mouth. He doesn’t mean to ask that question. He doesn’t want to know the answer. 

Jongin doesn’t answer. Instead, he places his palm flat on Sehun’s damp cheek and wipes at still-falling tears with his thumb. 

For a moment, Sehun embraces the touch, leans into it. He enjoys the warmth of Jongin’s hand, the loving way he wipes his tears for him. But then he remembers how he’s been lied to. Remembers all the years of adoration, of pining, of being stupidly in love with his straight best friend. And, he leans away. He fixes a glare onto his face and pushes at Jongin’s chest with both hands. 

“Don’t touch me.” He’s trying so hard to keep his voice steady, but he’s shaking and his heart is pounding. “Don’t act like you care about my feelings now that I’m crying.” Jongin reaches out for him but he pushes his hand away.

Jongin looks at Sehun. For what feels like minutes, he just stares at his best friend. Eyes glassy, pouting lips trembling, Sehun’s absolutely broken and it’s all his fault.

“Sehun…” Jongin starts carefully, voice soft, gentle. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as a frustrated sigh. “I’ve known for a long time how you feel about me.” He’s staring at his feet now, terrified to see the expression on Sehun’s face.

“What?” Sehun asks quietly, almost a whisper.

“I realized it in middle school.” He drags his hands down his face, leaving his palms over his eyes. “I should’ve said something then.”

Sehun’s face crumbles as he steps back; his eyes line with tears again; he can feel his cheeks heating up, his chin quivering. “You knew,” he says, it’s not quite a question. His voice shakes, so he swallows around the lump in his throat. “And-and you just…let me—” He takes another step back, putting more distance between himself and Jongin. “You could have told me. You could have just said you didn’t like me.” Another step back. “You didn’t have to lie to me.”

And then Jongin snaps. “I was thirteen years old!” Jongin shouts. “I just realized I liked guys and I was scared.” He wraps his arms around himself, body shaking. He knows his yelling isn’t making anything better, but he’s just so mad at himself. “I didn’t know how to handle my own fucking sexuality let alone the way you treated me…like you were in love with me or something.” He takes a deep breath and runs a hand down his face. “You scared the fuck out of me, okay? So I hid the fact I liked guys from you. After a certain point I realized you weren’t gonna stop having feelings for me, so I just never told you the truth so we could still be friends.”

Sehun’s jaw drops in disbelief and he shakes his head slowly. “That’s not an excuse,” Sehun murmurs. “You’ve had years to tell me.” He wipes at his face with his sleeve. “Was the idea of me liking you really that bad?” 

Jongin watches Sehun crumble at his own words. He hates himself right now. He realizes now, too late, how shitty of a friend he really is. Lying, sneaking around, trying to push Sehun to Baekhyun. Worst of all, he’s let Sehun spend years hoping, waiting for Jongin to love him back. 

Sehun stands still, waiting for an apology but, Instead, he gets a final shattering blow to his fragile heart.

“I thought you would just get over it if you thought I was straight,” Jongin says, finally meeting Sehun’s eyes. “I never thought we’d be here now, years later, and you’d still be obsessed with me. Why do you think I told you to make other friends?”

It comes out harsher than Jongin realizes, harsher than he’d meant it to. In that moment Sehun recedes; he’s done with all of this. Absolutely destroyed by his best friend’s words. “Well, okay then,” he says, voice strained in his throat. He nods again; he’s an unwanted burden in Jongin’s life, and he understands that now. “I’m gonna go.”

Jongin groans and looks up, hands balled into fists at his sides. “Fuck. Sehun, you know I didn’t mean it like that. It-it just came out wrong.”

Sehun’s smile is pained, sad, hurt; his teeth chatter as it widens. “We both know that’s not true,” he says quietly, looking directly into Jongin’s eyes. “I’m gonna go,” he repeats, and then he’s gone, leaving Jongin standing alone in the living room, hating himself.


	9. Chapter 9

Sehun sniffles and wipes his nose with the back of his hand, then knocks on the door. When it opens he can’t look up at Baekhyun; he knows his face is likely blotchy red, and he’s embarrassed.

“Oh my god, what happened?” Baekhyun asks, voice filled with worry. He steps back so Sehun can enter and he watches him silently cross the room and sit. Baekhyun stands still, closes the door; he isn’t sure what to do or say. “Um…Sehun,” he says softly. “Sehun, what happened?”

Sehun thinks about it, remembers every word Jongin said to him. The lump in his throat returns and he swallows hard, trying to keep himself from crying again. He lifts his head to look at Baekhyun, still standing, and his eyes fill with tears.

“Jongin doesn’t like me,” he says matter-of-factly, trying his best to give Baekhyun a silly grin. “And, he never will.” He takes in a few shaky breaths, clenches his fists in his lap.

“What did he say?”

“I told him. Well, I didn’t…he already knew. He’s been lying to me since middle school, Baek.”

Baekhyun takes a few cautious steps closer. “What do you mean?” He holds his breath, decides, fuck it, and sits down beside Sehun. He scoots closer to him, until their legs are touching, and puts his hand on his arm.

“He…” Sehun places his hand over Baekhyun’s and sighs. “He’s known about how I feel. The whole time. And, the girl he was fucking earlier was actually a guy. He’s only been pretending to be straight so I would get over him.” Sehun shakes his head, still finding it hard to believe all this. “He also said he thought if I made other friends I’d stop being obsessed with him.”

Baekhyun scoffs; he can’t believe Jongin would say something so hurtful. He laces his and Sehun’s fingers and squeezes. “He’s an asshole. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

Baekhyun pushes at Sehun’s chin, making him look up at him. “No, he is.”

Sehun’s chin trembles pathetically as he holds in a sob; Baekhyun’s eyes look so sincere, so caring. He closes his eyes and leans forward; he wants to kiss him. He’s going to kiss Baekhyun. But, his lips are met with fingers. He opens his eyes, confused, Baekhyun’s fingertips pressed to his lips.

“I want that,” Baekhyun smiles, “I really, really do.” He pulls his hand away and runs it through Sehun’s hair. “But, not like this.” His fingers trace along Sehun’s hairline, down past his ear; he holds Sehun’s face in his hand, thumb pressing gently into Sehun’s chin. “Not just because you’re upset. I won’t let you do that.”

Sehun nods as Baekhyun stands. He lets himself be pulled up from the couch, pushed down the hall. He’s walked into Baekhyun’s room where he’s sat on the bed and, honestly, Sehun is grateful for a friend like Baekhyun. Anyone else would have accepted his advance, taken advantage of his vulnerable state. But, not Baekhyun. He’s good, much too good for him.

“What are you doing?” Sehun asks, being snapped out of his thoughts when he feels his jacket being tugged on.

“You’re gonna take a nap,” Baekhyun smiles. “I’m gonna make some food. And then, when you wake up, we’re gonna eat dinner together. We can talk too, if you’d like.” Sehun nods. “Now lay down.” Baekhyun walks to the door and shuts the light off. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

 

Waking up from his second self-pity nap returns the same results as the first. He doesn’t feel any better, maybe a little worse if he’s being honest, but he appreciates the sentiment behind Baekhyun’s efforts.

Sitting up, his limbs are heavy. His head hurts and he’s thirsty. He can hear Baekhyun moving around, doing something in some other part of the apartment. Whatever food he’d cooked smells great and has Sehun’s stomach rumbling.

Baekhyun is sitting at the small table in the kitchen; he has one of his school books open, taking notes in a notebook off to the side. He has Chanyeol’s round glasses on the tip of his nose again and he pushes them up with the end of his pen.

“You’re up!” Baekhyun says with a big smile, dropping his pen into his book and closing it. “Feel any better?”

“I don’t know,” Sehun shrugs. “I feel like I cried myself to sleep and haven’t eaten in three days.”

Without a word Baekhyun stands and begins scooping food from a pan on the stove into a bowl. He sets it on the table and motions for Sehun to sit.

“Fried rice,” Baekhyun says proudly, “the ultimate comfort food, and the only thing my mom ever taught me how to make.”

“What about you?” Sehun asks, noticing Baekhyun’s lack of a bowl.

“I ate while you were sleeping,” he shrugs, gives Sehun another small smile as he sits across from him.

The rice is good, really good, similar to what he remembers his mother making when he was young. He finishes his bowl quickly and goes to the stove to refill it. As he eats, Baekhyun continues studying; Sehun watches him scribble notes, highlight sentences in his book. The glasses slip down the bridge of his nose and he pushes them back up.

“Why do you always wear Chanyeol’s glasses?”

Baekhyun looks up, mouth forming a surprised little ‘o’. “I look cute in them,” he says after a short pause. He smiles, only momentarily, then takes the glasses off. He folds them and places them on the table beside his book. “I guess I should probably give them back to him.”

“Probably,” Sehun agrees.

They’re quiet for a while, just the sound of Baekhyun writing and Sehun’s spoon scraping the bowl.

“He’ll be fine,” Baekhyun says suddenly; he’s looking at Sehun. “Chanyeol, I mean. He’s gonna be okay. He’ll get over me and find someone right for him.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “I think I’m just trying to make myself believe it.” He makes a face, somewhere between regret and pain, “I hate that I had to hurt him like that. He’s my best friend.”

“What did Chanyeol say?” Sehun thinks back to Chanyeol’s sad smile in the kitchen earlier today and understands now; Chanyeol knew then that he had no chance with Baekhyun. “I mean, when you guys talked. What did he say to you?”

“He just asked why. Why wasn’t he good enough for me. I told him that it wasn’t that he’s not good enough, it’s because there’s someone else.” He looks at Sehun, gives him the tiniest smile, and Sehun understands that he’s the someone else. “What I said earlier about liking you, I—"

“Baek—”

“I know. Okay? I know you’re in love with Jongin and I know I have no chance with you. I know we’re only friends. I know all of that, but I can’t help the way I feel.” He looks up now, at Sehun, desperation in his eyes. “Seeing the way you were with Jongin, how you cared for him, how much he meant to you. I want that.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “I want you to see me the way you see him.”

Sehun is silent. He doesn’t know how to respond to Baekhyun’s confession. It hurts, hearing it, hearing Baekhyun pour his heart out like that. Minutes pass by in silence, neither one looking at the other. Sehun replays his argument with Jongin in his head over and over, and finally, he realizes something.

“Baek?” He waits for Baekhyun to look up at him, and then holds eye contact for a few seconds, just thinking. He frowns, “You’re wrong, I don’t think I’m in love with him.”

 

It’s a weird, rough night for Sehun. Most of his time is spent sitting curled up on the couch, with Baekhyun at the other end silently watching one movie after the other. Sehun keeps his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms locked tightly around them, resting his chin uncomfortably on his knees. He’s staring at the television screen, but he has no idea what he’s seeing; his mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of where he is in life.

Until a few hours ago he was in love with someone, his best friend. He was head-over-heels for the boy that showed absolutely no interest in him, other than the friendship they’d shared for years. It creates a stabbing pain in his gut, but not for the reason he’d always expected. He’s hurt, sure. Jongin tore his heart out and stomped all over it, but not by refusing to return Sehun’s feelings. With a slow, heavy sigh, Sehun turns his head and asks Baekhyun for a hug.

He’s always been a touchy person; always craved physical touch. It’s comfort and reassurance, and right now, he needs both more than anything. Baekhyun does hug him, reaches across the space between them and pulls Sehun close, tucks Sehun’s head tight under his chin.

“I think it was real, a long time ago. I think I really did love him,” Sehun says softly, speaking with lips pressed directly against the skin of Baekhyun’s neck. “He wasn’t wrong what he said earlier, I was obsessed with him.”

“Sehun—” Baekhyun wants to argue with him, tell him that what Jongin said was rude and unnecessary, but Sehun stops him.

“No, he was right. I haven’t had any other friends but him for so long. I think— I think I just loved him out of habit.” He looks up to Baekhyun now, searching his eyes for answers. He wishes Baekhyun had answers. “Because I had no one else around but him.”

“I mean…maybe?”

Sehun smiles and sits upright, returns to hugging his legs to his chest. “Thank you for being such a good friend. I’m not like…good at emotions, obviously, but just…thank you.” And, Baekhyun smiles, but it looks so terribly sad that Sehun’s heart aches and his eyes well up with tears.

“Baekhyun?” He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even look away from the screen he’d returned to watching, but he hums to let Sehun know he’d heard him. “I-I don’t…want to…lose you as a friend.” He rolls his eyes at himself for how hard he struggled to get one simple sentence out.

He watches Baekhyun’s eyes move away from the TV, to a spot probably somewhere on the carpeting and then, Baekhyun’s looking right at him. “Look, I’m a little sad,” he says with a shrug, “but, I’m also an adult. I’ll…get over it. We— I’ll be fine.” The smile he gives Sehun does reach his eyes this time and Sehun knows that Baekhyun is right, they’ll be fine.

He knows, but he still feels the need to explain himself. Give Baekhyun a better apology, maybe.

“I just…I don’t want things to be weird between us now. You know?” He’s got this pleading look in his eyes, he can feel it. He hopes Baekhyun knows, hopes he understands how important he is to Sehun without being told. “You—” Sehun cuts himself off, looks down at his lap. He thinks about Jongin for a moment, about the lack of remorse he’d shown him earlier; he thinks about how things will never be the same between them again. “You’re my best friend,” he finishes, chin trembling as he meets Baekhyun’s gaze.

“Come here,” is all Baekhyun says. He opens his arms and Sehun doesn’t think twice about falling into them, burying his face in Baekhyun’s neck, and he begins sobbing, finally letting out many years worth of built up emotions. And, Baekhyun doesn’t stop him, he only wraps his arms around Sehun’s to hold him in place, occasionally running fingers through his hair. He can feel the tears on his skin, and when Sehun blinks, he can feel the wet tips of eyelashes graze his neck. Sehun’s ragged breath tickles and warms his skin.

“I’m sorry, Sehun,” Baekhyun doesn’t know why he has a lump in his throat, or why his face is twisted in pain, “I’m so sorry, I wish he felt the same.”

Sehun sniffles and pulls back enough to look up, confused, at Baekhyun. “Why?” he asks, confused.

Baekhyun grabs Sehun’s face, a palm on each cheek, and gives Sehun a shaky smile. “You think I want to watch you cry?” His thumbs catch Sehun’s tears, one hand moves down to wipe saliva from the corner of his mouth. “I’d rather lose you to him than see you hurt like this.”

Sehun chews at his bottom lip. Baekhyun is so genuine, tears line his eyes, but still, he has a smile on his face. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, placing his hand over Baekhyun’s. “I—”

“Don’t,” Baekhyun says, covering Sehun’s mouth with his hand. “You don’t need to apologize for not having feelings for me. It’s okay. Really.” He pulls his hand away and moves to sit more comfortably; Sehun remains close, rests his head on Baekhyun’s lap.

He plays with Sehun’s hair through an entire movie, while Sehun stares at him from below. The silence is nice, refreshing. It allows them to feel like this entire night wasn’t just a whole fucked up mess. It’s what they both need right now. Sehun eventually falls asleep still resting on Baekhyun’s lap, and he doesn’t wake when Baekhyun carefully slips out from under him and sneaks off to the kitchen.

For a while, Baekhyun paces. His mind is running a million miles an hour, but no thoughts are passing through. It’s strange, he thinks, having so many feelings but nowhere to place them. He hurts because Sehun doesn’t want him in the same way. He hurts also for Sehun. He looks into the living room, Sehun’s still fast asleep on the couch, curled up onto his side now. He smiles. Baekhyun hates having to see Sehun like this; he wishes there was something he could do to fix it.

When his legs tire of standing he fixes himself a cup of coffee and sits at the table. His fingertips trace scratch lines along the surface. He fought hard to keep this table when Chanyeol moved out. They’d bought it together in freshmen year when they were shopping to furnish their apartment. He didn’t know, until two years later, why Chanyeol had moved out so suddenly.

Baekhyun takes a long drink from his mug, sighing into the cup as he swallows. Chanyeol had liked him for so long. He tried so hard to show Baekhyun in every way possible, tried to make Baekhyun his through kindness and affection. But, Baekhyun was too stubborn to see it. Chanyeol had always been just his best friend. When Chanyeol left, the apartment felt much bigger, emptier, colder. Moving day was hard, they had been arguing the entire week leading up to it. Looking back now, Baekhyun is sure that Chanyeol just wanted him to ask him to stay. But, Baekhyun never did. And so, Chanyeol boxed everything up and left, and they didn’t speak to each other for weeks.

He wonders if that’s what will happen to Sehun and Jongin, if they’ll lose contact, if Jongin will move out of their shared dorm leaving Sehun alone. A part of Baekhyun hopes that will happen, hopes Jongin will move far away and leave Sehun to get over him. But, the more rational side of his brain hopes that, for Sehun’s sake, he and Jongin will remain friends. Even if it is awkward for a while.

 

He’s refilling his fifth cup of coffee when Sehun wanders into the kitchen rubbing at his eye with a balled fist. Baekhyun can’t help but smile at how cute he looks with disheveled hair, sleepy eyes, and cheeks still a little red from crying earlier. Sehun looks younger like this; one of his pantlegs is rolled up slightly higher than the other and his shirt is wrinkled.

“Did you ever go to sleep?” Sehun asks, voice raspy.

Baekhyun looks at the clock, it’s just passed 5am. “No,” he says, “I’ve just been sitting here drinking coffee.”

“Smells good,” Sehun mumbles with his eyes closed as he takes a seat at the table. “Pour me a cup?”

And, Baekhyun does it without a second thought, putting just the right amount of sugar and milk in; Sehun’s coffee order memorized somewhere in his brain. He sits across from Sehun and slides the mug across the table and watches Sehun drink for a moment.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Sehun says suddenly, playing at the rim of the mug with a fingertip. “How am I supposed to go back to my dorm and face him?”

Baekhyun just shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he answers honestly. He sees Sehun deflate and his heart hurts. “When Chanyeol moved out we didn’t talk to each other for a while. It sucked, and I missed him a lot. I don’t think that really helps you, but that’s the only experience I have with anything close to your situation.”

“So, you’re saying I should move out?”

“I mean, no. That’s not what I’m saying. But, if you think it would help you sort through things, then yeah, maybe.” He shrugs, “I don’t know.”

Sehun doesn’t speak right away; Baekhyun watches him seemingly struggling to find the words he wants to say. “I could…I mean, maybe I could stay here?” Sehun says shyly, looking down at the table to avoid Baekhyun’s eyes. “No, never mind,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “No, that’s a stupid idea, never mind.”

“I mean yeah, it’s a stupid idea,” Baekhyun says, thinking about what it would be like to willingly put himself in that living arrangement. “But,” he continues, “it’s not a bad idea.”

Sehun shrugs, “Won’t it like, I don’t know…be hard for you?”

The question knocks the wind out of Baekhyun, but he doesn’t let it show. The small reminder that Sehun, in fact, does not have feelings for him hurts, but he keeps the gentle smile on his lips. “Sehun really, I-I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. If moving in here will help you, well, then that’s all I care about.”

Sehun nods at Baekhyun’s sincere smile. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay,” Baekhyun agrees, giving Sehun a wide smile to hide the fear swirling dangerously within him. The grin Sehun gives him in return has his heart rejoicing, while what’s left of his brain screams desperately for him to do anything but put himself in this situation. “I have some empty boxes,” he says, handing all control over to his hopeful heart.


	10. Chapter 10

It’s the absolute worst. The most horrendously awkward, terribly awful thing Baekhyun has ever experienced. He hasn’t said a word in well over twenty minutes, has just been twiddling his thumbs by the door, checking his phone over and over knowing that no one has messaged him. And the entire time, though he hasn’t actually lifted his head to check, he just knows, Jongin has been staring at him from where he’s planted on the couch. Baekhyun kind of wants to die.

He can hear Sehun moving around in his bedroom. He’s heard him walk out and into the kitchen and back a few times. No one has spoken since Jongin and Sehun stopped arguing, though it was more Sehun going off on Jongin and Jongin trying to defend himself but only sounding like more of an asshole than Baekhyun already thought he was. 

And, it’s just so…awkward.

It started with Jongin telling Sehun he didn’t have to move out, that he could stay and things could go back to the way they were before. He’d told Sehun to just get over his crush, that he didn’t want to stop being friends. Baekhyun, though he knew it wasn’t his place to say anything, had to raise an eyebrow at that. How could Jongin be that clueless? 

He felt bad for Sehun. This has got to be hard on him, packing all of his things and moving out of his dorm, leaving his best friend because he’s, for lack of a better word, an asshole.

It took much longer than Baekhyun would have thought for Sehun to get angry. He remained calm, telling Jongin that he did, in fact, need to leave. His voice was steady, though his eyes looked pained, and he calmly refused Jongin’s offer to pretend that nothing had happened between them.

The way Baekhyun sees it, Sehun’s been moved out for a week already anyway. He hasn’t gone back to the dorm since his big fight with Jongin and has been borrowing Baekhyun’s clothes to avoid having to return home to change. They did go out and buy him a toothbrush though, because he couldn’t stand not brushing his teeth. So, as far as Baekhyun is concerned, Sehun already lives with him. Now it’s just the simple task of bringing his belongings along with him.

And, it hasn’t been as bad as Baekhyun thought it was going to be, having Sehun around. It’s actually been a rather nice addition to his life. Sure, he knows that Sehun doesn’t like him back, but he’s still happy just spending time together with him as friends. They are friends first, after all. As content as Baekhyun is, he still dreads it every morning when he knows Sehun is going to step out of the bathroom, freshly showered, water droplets falling from his hair, and nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He tells himself not to look, but who is he to deny himself that view? Sehun’s naked torso is his deepest desire and his worst nightmare all packaged into one tightly toned body. 

Baekhyun clears his throat as he refreshes his Facebook feed on his phone, shaking the thought of a half-naked Sehun out of his mind. That’s definitely not where he needs his mind to be right now. He tells himself to stay focused on the task at hand, which happens to be not punching Jongin in the mouth if he starts his shit with Sehun again. He peeks over at Jongin for just a second. Why the fuck is he staring? It’s annoying, but Baekhyun keeps his lips sealed. He’s so not looking for a fight right now. 

To Baekhyun’s dismay, Jongin breaks the silence. 

“I don’t understand why he’s doing this,” he says, looking straight at Baekhyun like he’s expecting an answer.

It’s anger that pulses through Baekhyun at that statement. Is Jongin really that stupid? Does he really not comprehend how much he’s hurt Sehun?

“Are you serious?” He nearly whispers because he fears he’ll yell if he tries to speak at a normal volume. He tells himself to keep calm, not to make things any worse for Sehun. “You basically told him that he isn’t good enough for you, and you don’t get why he wants to get away from you?” 

Jongin crosses his arms, scoffs. “I didn’t say that to him. I’m not an asshole.”

“Really?” Baekhyun’s voice is rising now. He can feel the anger he’s been trying to hold back slowly rising to the surface. His annoyance with Jongin is digging at him, beginning to make his body shake. He knows he shouldn’t say what he knows is about to come out of his mouth. “Because, from what I’ve heard, you’re exactly that.”

Jongin throws his arms to his sides and grips the cushion beneath him hard. His face twists in anger; he looks just short of snarling like a rabid dog.

“What the fuck does that make you then, huh?” He stands when Baekhyun narrows his eyes, challenging him to do something. “Making him come live with you. Being his shoulder to cry on. Taking advantage of him when he’s upset.” He nods, gives Baekhyun a twisted smile that says he’s proud of himself. “Yeah, I know you like him. Any fucking idiot could see that.” He steps closer. “You’re no better than me. In fact,” another step leaves them no more than a few inches apart, “you’re worse.”

Baekhyun wishes he had it in him to articulate a good comeback, to tell Jongin how he couldn’t be more wrong about him. He wishes he could talk Jongin through how he turned down Sehun’s offered kiss. Or, how he told Sehun, to his face, that moving in together probably wasn’t the best idea. If anyone has taken advantage of Sehun, it’s Jongin. But, Baekhyun is too pissed off to say any of that and, quite frankly, he’d much rather just punch Jongin. 

For a moment, they just glare at each other, Baekhyun’s fists clenched tight at his sides. Jongin isn’t backing down. It’s like he wants this, wants Baekhyun to get angry enough to hit him. Baekhyun wants that as well. But, Sehun doesn’t need that. Sehun is better than Jongin, deserves better than him; he deserves better than two people fighting over him in the living room. Baekhyun stares at Jongin with disdain. This person that Sehun’s idolized, been in love with for years, he’s not even half the man Sehun’s thought him to be. And, Baekhyun has never been more pissed about anything in his life. He’s angry that Sehun wasted so much time desperate for affection from such a vile person, a person that isn’t worthy of the love Sehun has been so ready to offer him.

“You’re right,” Baekhyun finally says, stepping down, backing away and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He takes a moment to enjoy the confusion on Jongin’s face. “Neither of us are good enough for him.” He shakes his head, unaware of Sehun standing in the hallway, hugging a box of clothes to his chest. “But the difference between you and me is that I can admit it.”

“You—”

“Hey Baek, can you come help me?” Sehun interrupts Jongin, stopping him from taking a step toward Baekhyun. He enters the room, smiling like nothing had happened, not wanting either of them to know he’d overheard them just now. “Just,” he quickly glances at Jongin before turning his back to him, “I think it would be faster with some help.”

Baekhyun agrees, shooting Jongin one final dirty look as he walks past him to follow Sehun into his room.

 

“Thank you,” Sehun says once it’s just them alone in his room. 

Baekhyun bends down to grab a box, begins shoving clothes into it. “It’s no problem,” he shrugs, “Like you said, it’ll be faster this way.”

“No,” Sehun says, grabbing Baekhyun’s arm to stop him from packing, to make him look at him, “I meant thank you for what you said…for sticking up for me to Jongin.” He’s looking down at his feet now, but his hand is still wrapped around Baekhyun’s arm. He sighs. “I really appreciate it.”

The way Sehun looks at him just then makes Baekhyun’s heart flutter and he smiles, tries to laugh it off like he didn’t do anything anyone else wouldn’t have done. “Oh that? It was nothing. Jongin is an asshole and he deserves to know it.”

 

After the absolute shit show that was packing his things and officially moving out of his dorm, complete with one final argument that ended with Jongin storming out and slamming the door, a few rounds of shots at the bar is a necessity. The two go drop Sehun’s stuff of at the apartment and then meet up with Chanyeol at their favorite campus dive bar.

They all take turns buying round after round until they’re pleasantly, and stupidly, drunk.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Baekhyun says, flashing a smile to both boys before sauntering off.

Sehun and Chanyeol both watch him as he walks away, but when Sehun finally brings his attention back to the table, Chanyeol is staring at him, eyebrows furrowed. 

“What?” Sehun questions, taking a quick sip from his beer. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Sehun squints in confusion. “What do you mean?” He’s very obviously too drunk for a serious conversation right now, but he takes a deep breath and tries his best to focus.

“I mean you moving in with Baekhyun.” He clenches his jaw; it looks like he doesn’t want to say what he knows is about to come out of his mouth. “Look, I’ve basically accepted that Baekhyun is never going to have feelings for me. I think it started to sink in a while ago, to be honest, back when I first realized he liked you. I’m doing my best to move on and make my heart catch up with my head.” He grips his beer firmly and stares right into Sehun’s eyes. “But, he’s still my best friend and if you hurt him-“ He takes a moment to finish the rest of his beer, a nice little dramatic pause that has Sehun on edge. “-I’ll never forgive you.”

Sehun gulps; hearing a threat come from Chanyeol is terrifying. But then, Chanyeol gives him one of his wide, goofy grins and pats him on the shoulder just as Baekhyun returns to the table.

“So,” Baekhyun says, mischievous glint in his eyes, “how drunk are we getting tonight?”

 

Once again, Baekhyun finds himself heaved up onto Sehun’s back as they drunk-waddle down the campus streets. Chanyeol is there this time, which is a new addition. Admittedly a good addition, because Chanyeol is much more responsible than the other two. 

Chanyeol keeps cracking jokes that have Baekhyun howling in fits of tearful laughter; Sehun would be laughing just as hard were it not for him trying desperately to not drop Baekhyun. At one point, Chanyeol swears he sees a cop car, and the speed at which Baekhyun shimmies down Sehun’s back to stand upright and poised, as if he were sober, impresses everyone. They realize after a moment it’s only a pizza delivery car, and the roaring laughter starts again.

But this time, Baekhyun has his fingers laced with Sehun’s as their arms swing happily between them. Baekhyun uses this as leverage to pull Sehun closer to him so that he can curl up against his chest, where he presses his face to stifle his laughter. He looks up when Sehun snorts, something he only does while drunk, something Baekhyun has always found charming about him. 

He looks up and Sehun, with his arms wrapped loosely around Baekhyun’s waist, looks down. Sehun smiles; it’s been a very long time since he’s kissed someone. He watches the way Baekhyun chews at his bottom lip as they hold eye contact. Sehun really wants to kiss someone. And, Baekhyun’s right there, he thinks to himself, it would be really easy. He frowns slightly, trying to work through his drunk haze to figure out why his brain is telling him that kissing Baekhyun would be a terrible idea. He stares at Baekhyun’s perfectly pink lips, they don’t look like a terrible idea. 

No sooner had Sehun’s eyes closed, than Chanyeol was ripping the two apart. Baekhyun giggles as he stumbles from the force of being pulled by Chanyeol, blissfully unaware of what Sehun was just about to do.

Sehun returns Chanyeol’s glare, confused as to why they were even glaring in the first place. Is Chanyeol mad at him? The way Chanyeol looks at Sehun when he tries to pull Baekhyun back toward him keeps Sehun in line for the rest of the walk home. He doesn’t understand what he did to piss Chanyeol off, but he knows Chanyeol looks absolutely frightening when he’s mad.

 

They eventually reach Baekhyun and Sehun’s apartment and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, happy to finally get inside where they don’t have to worry about being arrested for public intoxication. 

Baekhyun flops himself down onto the couch and almost immediately falls asleep, mouth open and drooling.

Sehun is still having trouble looking at Chanyeol, whatever happened earlier he doesn’t remember now, but he still knows he fucked up somehow. And he just knows Chanyeol is going to remind him before he leaves; he’s not looking forward to it.

“You need to make up your mind,” is what Chanyeol finally says just before leaving. There’s no bite to his words, no anger. It’s only concern; his voice is filled with audible affection as he watches Baekhyun snoring away. “Don’t lead him on, Sehun, we both know he deserves better than that.”

Sehun thinks about Chanyeol’s words for a long time before falling asleep. 

He dreams about kissing Baekhyun on the sidewalk under a streetlight, no Chanyeol there to stop them. Baekhyun’s fingers curl against his waist, nails pulling at the fabric of his shirt as he takes a deep breath and gets up on his toes to better reach Sehun’s lips. Somewhere in the depths of his mind he knows it’s a dream, but the way Baekhyun smiles against his lips feels real. 

He wakes up with a gasp, body covered in a sticky sweat, and what feels like an elbow jammed into his ribs. It’s still dark out; he can barely make out the clock on his night stand. 4:32. He sighs and throws his head back onto his pillow. How long had Baekhyun been in his bed with him? Should he wake him up? Send him off to his own bed?

He gently traces Baekhyun’s body with his palm, trying to make out where his face is without waking him. Sehun finds that it’s not Baekhyun’s elbow jabbing him in the ribs, it’s his knee, and he’s curled up almost in fetal position. Sehun smiles and pulls the blankets up over the both of them, makes sure to cover Baekhyun’s shoulders. 

Sehun still feels like kissing someone, maybe even Baekhyun, but he’s now sober enough to remember why Chanyeol was glaring, and just why that would be a terrible idea.


	11. Chapter 11

The second time Sehun wakes it’s with his usual post-drinking groan. He normally stretches his arms up above his head, arches his back to crack it, but he finds himself unable. It’s with an unfortunate flash of last night that he remembers, and realizes why his chest feels so unusually heavy.

“Oh shit,” he whispers, eyes wide. Baekhyun’s head lies on his chest, rising and falling with Sehun’s panicked breathing.

Baekhyun is curled so cutely against him with his hands balled into fists tucked close to his chest, and his cheek resting on Sehun’s chest causing his face to scrunch up in a way that would make Sehun laugh if this wasn’t such a weird position. He can just make out soft snores and little whines coming from Baekhyun. Can feel it when a muscle in his leg spasms and he twitches, causing him to stir. Sehun holds his breath.

“Morning,” Baekhyun rasps, smacking his lips. His eyes are still closed and he’s stretching now, finally rolling over and off of Sehun. He sits up and crosses his legs, hair askew as he smiles sleepily at Sehun whose eyes are open but staring straight ahead at the wall above his desk.

Baekhyun rubs his puffy face with both hands. He stretches a little more, twists around until his back cracks, sighing when it finally does. “I slept so good last night.” He wiggles his toes against where they’re pressed against Sehun’s ribs. “Your bed is so much better than mine. I’m officially jealous.”

With a yawn, Baekhyun stands. “How am I supposed to get a good night’s sleep in my bed ever again knowing that your bed is across the hall being so much more comfy than mine?”

Sehun’s still not looking at Baekhyun, still transfixed on the wall. He shrugs.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun says with a cute little pout, “forgot you’re not a morning person. I’m gonna go shower.”

Sehun spends the entirety of Baekhyun’s shower under his covers trying to remember how they ended up in the same bed. He so clearly remembers Baekhyun being on the couch when he finally crawled into bed. He remembers all too well Chanyeol being angry with him, and the reason why. He wanted to kiss Baekhyun; he almost did. He would have, had it not been for Chanyeol stopping him. Now that he’s able to think clearly, he’s grateful for Chanyeol’s intervention. He’s also blown away that Chanyeol did it not out of jealousy, but for Sehun’s own good. Sehun grimaces; he would have been writhing with jealousy had it been him witnessing Jongin trying to kiss someone.

At the fleeting thought of Jongin, Sehun’s mood sours. He’d almost forgotten how much he hates Jongin at the moment. He stops and thinks and, really, he doesn’t think he’d feel anything if he saw Jongin kissing someone now. Maybe relief, if he’s being honest. He just wants to put this all behind him and move on with his life. But, he knows it’ll take some time for his heart to fully mend; he just wishes the process would speed up some. He’s sick of feeling lost, like he has nowhere to place all of this love he’s had bottled up for so long.

“I can tell you’re very deep in thought right now,” Baekhyun says as he sits at the edge of Sehun’s bed beside him, “but we should go get breakfast. I’m starving.”

Sehun huffs, still not really awake enough to begin talking for the day. But he sits up and looks, and Baekhyun has a towel wrapped around him held up under his armpits, and another towel wrapped around his head, and it's ridiculous and makes Sehun smile. 

"You look stupid right now," he says, but his smile is still wide as Baekhyun readjusts his towel to keep himself properly covered.

Baekhyun stands and huffs, stomps his foot childishly on the ground. "Don't make fun of me." He grabs the corner of his towel and tightens it around his body. "I did this for you, you know. I covered myself so as not to tempt you with my amazing body," he says with a flourish of his hand.

Sehun raises an eyebrow and then, at the same time, both boys break out into loud laughter. 

"Go get dressed and we'll get breakfast."

 

Baekhyun talks Sehun’s ear off as they walk. Sehun smiles, eyes narrowed at the sun shining bright in his face and the voice constantly ringing in his ears. At some point between the apartment and the student center, their knuckles brush between them and, without thinking, they lace their fingers together. It’s not until Baekhyun squeezes his hand that Sehun realizes they are, in fact, holding hands on a cute little morning stroll. He rips his hand from Baekhyun’s.

“We probably shouldn’t do that,” Sehun says, unable to look at Baekhyun.

“Aw, why?” Baekhyun pouts and leans in so he can make eye contact with Sehun. “I hold Chanyeol’s hand all the time.”

Sehun gives Baekhyun a look, one pointed eyebrow raised at him.

Baekhyun hums, “I see your point.” He smiles, it’s forced, Sehun can tell. “No holding hands then.”

Sehun tries his best to shake the awkwardness between them. This is what he was afraid of, getting too close, things getting weird. He sighs, clears his throat, and just says fuck it. The face Baekhyun makes when Sehun snatches his hand up makes everything okay. Sehun is the one who squeezes Baekhyun’s hand this time and Baekhyun beams at him, eyes lost in his happiness.

“So what do you want to eat?”

 

He’s had to change his entire routine in fear of running into Jongin. Luckily for Sehun, he knows Jongin’s schedule as much as his own, and knows which path Jongin takes to each class. It’s a little stressful, but fairly easy to assure he won’t bump into Jongin at any point during his day. And, for the past three weeks, it’s worked flawlessly. He just hopes it stays that way.

With this new route, he now passes a coffee shop on his way to class, and this is where he runs into Luhan.

Sehun hasn’t seen him in a while, but they both perk up upon noticing each other. Luhan doesn’t speak fluent English, but enough to get him by. Enough to pass his classes with decent grades. Sehun’s helped Luhan with essays more than once, going over them for grammar and spelling mistakes while Luhan sat beside him asking him to explain what he’d done wrong. Luhan is someone Sehun could have seen himself dating once upon a time were it not for Jongin being in the picture. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he does have a type, because Luhan is small and cute, and Sehun finds himself unable to stop staring as they stand in line beside each other and chat.

“Where is your friend?” Luhan asks as he’s handed his coffee. “The handsome one,” he clarifies.

Sehun chuckles. “We’re not friends anymore.”

“Oh. Why not? Did you fight?”

Sehun takes in a long, thoughtful breath, and sighs. “It’s a long story.”

Luhan grins, “I have some time for a long story!”

 

They take their coffees to go and walk slowly toward the center of campus. Luhan is frowning hard by the end of Sehun’s rant about how horrible Jongin is.

“He always was so nice, too. I can’t believe him.” Luhan’s little frown has his whole face scrunched up and it reminds Sehun of Baekhyun, when he pouts to get his way. “Can I punch him?”

Sehun laughs now, “No dude, that’s okay. I think he’d totally destroy you anyway.”

“Oh, I don’t want to get destroyed.” Luhan stares down at the sidewalk for a moment, then looks back to Sehun with a small smile. “Would you like to go to a party with me tonight?”

It’s the most robotic way he’s ever been invited to a party, so unmistakably Luhan. “Sure,” Sehun agrees, and makes a mental note to text Baekhyun later to see if he wants to go too.

“Ah good! I can text you later!”

 

Baekhyun turns down Sehun’s invitation; he has a paper he’s been neglecting due in the morning, so he has to stay home and work on it. Sehun doesn’t let that deter him though, and he follows his phone’s map leading him to the address Luhan messaged him a few hours ago. It’s been a ridiculously long time since he’s gone to a party, even longer since he’s gone to one without Jongin by his side. He expects it to feel weird, off in some way, like the night won’t be complete without Jongin cheering him on as rowdy frat boy’s hold him up to do a keg stand.

But, surprisingly, once he’s inside the house and has a beer in his hand, everything feels…normal. In place of Jongin, Luhan is pressed to his side, half-shouting mangled, slurred, mixed Chinese-English sentences at him. And, Sehun is happy. So happy, in fact, he hasn’t stopped laughing since he finished his sixth beer. He’s not even sure what Luhan is saying sometimes, but when he laughs, Sehun feels the need to laugh along.

He recognizes some of the people there, none that he’d go as far as calling friends. More like, party acquaintances. Drinking buddies, he’d call them, if he were feeling generous. And of course, they all come talk, all ask where Jongin is. Let him know how strange it is to see him without Jongin close by. And, he doesn’t feel like explaining things. None of these people are worth digging into that long story. So, he shrugs off their questions, tells them he doesn’t know where Jongin is tonight.

Luhan must be able to tell Sehun is uncomfortable with all the attention; he whisks Sehun away, out of the kitchen with the heavy foot traffic, and into the less crowded living room. A few people are dancing, mostly girls giving it their all, trying to attract one of the muscled frat boys in their backwards hats.

“Are you better here?” Luhan asks. He’s got one hand circled around his cup and the other hovering just centimeters over actually touching Sehun’s arm. He says something then, in Chinese, and only realizes it when Sehun gives him a confused look. “Ah, I mean, they were asking a lot of questions and you didn’t look happy about them.”

Sehun watches Luhan’s finger twitch, like he wants to place his hand on Sehun’s arm, but in the end, he put his arm down by his side.

“Yeah it was a bit much. I came here to have fun, not be interrogated about my bes— about Jongin.” He mentally kicks himself for that one. It’s going to take some time getting used to referring to Jongin as something other than his best friend.

Luhan picks up on Sehun’s inner monologue and asks him to dance with him. “Something to get your brain thinking happy again,” he persuades.

So they dance. And, Luhan is pretty good. Sehun finds it easy to fall into step with Luhan as they sway and rock, and Luhan even shakes his ass around in a way that reminds him of a drunk Baekhyun.

It’s just so much fun, drinking and dancing to loud music, watching other drunk people attempt to dance. Sehun hasn’t been this carefree in what seems like years. Luhan says something to him in Chinese again as he turns so he can press his back into Sehun’s front. Sehun’s free hand grabs Luhan’s hip and he bites his lip, loving how free he feels at this exact moment. Loving the way it feels to have a cute guy grinding his ass into him. It really has been much too long.

Sehun’s phone vibrates and, as much as he wants to ignore it to give Luhan his full attention, he slips it from his pocket, wondering if it’s Baekhyun needing help with his essay.

so how drunk are you already?

Sehun smiles, still swaying lightly with Luhan, and types up a quick response to Baekhyun.

dancing wth luahn. Ill prbly br home soonn tho

The reply comes instantly and Sehun has to hold his phone close to his face to discern if Baekhyun had sent a happy or a sad face.

Just as he’s about to reply, a hand pushes his phone out of his face, down by his side; the fingers wind around his wrist and slide up to his elbow where they squeeze. The other hand, Luhan’s hand, Sehun realizes it is, grabs at his waist and pulls him closer. They’re still dancing. Well, Luhan is; Sehun had stopped moving to text Baekhyun back.

The lips that press to his are unexpected, but not unpleasant. The kiss tastes like beer and whatever chapstick Luhan uses.

Sehun takes a deep breath in through his nose and lets it out, harsh as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. His head is swimming with intoxication and want, and he wants nothing more right now than to take Baekhyun home and strip his clothes off, make him feel good, hear him moan.

His eyes snap open. He’s not kissing Baekhyun. What the fuck.

“What’s wrong?” Luhan asks, looking scandalized with a hand over his mouth. “Should I not have kissed you?”

Sehun isn’t sure what he wants to say. Luhan looks upset with himself, and Sehun feels bad.

“I-I…I’m sorry,” is what stutters out of his mouth. “I have to go.”

He’ll text Luhan tomorrow, when he’s not so confused, and more thoroughly apologize to him. But right now, he needs to get out of this house. He needs to get away from the alcohol and noise, and find somewhere quiet to think. He needs to clear his head.

 

Sehun finds himself somewhere halfway between the party and home, sitting alone at a table for two in a restaurant’s outside patio area. The restaurant is closed; he’s not sure if he’s allowed to sit here, but his drunk body didn’t want to walk any further. A few people, other drunk college kids on their walk home, pass by and give him odd looks, but he’s not worried about it. He’s sure people have seen him in much stranger situations than this.

He sighs. He really should get home.

 

Sehun has to take a deep breath to steady himself before opening the door to the apartment. It’s late and he’s sure Baekhyun is sleeping, and he doesn’t want to wake him. So, he turns the knob slowly and pushes the door open gently.

He’s not expecting to see Baekhyun sitting on the couch, still awake, so he freezes in the doorway.

“You’re up.”

Baekhyun wraps his arms around himself and nods. “You stopped replying to me. I got worried.” He looks away from Sehun when he says it, shrugs to try lighten the sentiment.

All Sehun can do is smile. Baekhyun was worried about him; he thinks it’s cute.

Whatever happened back at the party, Sehun’s clouded brain nearly forgets about when he watches the way Baekhyun smiles. Sehun pouts and moves forward, dropping carelessly onto the couch. He wiggles his way against Baekhyun, curling into his side, tucking his face against Baekhyun’s shoulder and resting his hands on Baekhyun’s thigh. He breathes, finally home safe. He’s tired all of a sudden.

“Guess what happened at the party?”

Baekhyun hums as he begins stroking his fingers through Sehun’s hair. “What happened?”

Sehun hums now too, thoroughly enjoying the little scalp massage. “I kissed Luhan.” The fingers in his hair stop; if Sehun wasn’t so drunk he’d have felt Baekhyun’s entire body tense up. “And, I’m sad.”

Baekhyun clears his throat. He looks down at Sehun; he’s half-asleep. “Whys that?” Baekhyun asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady.

“Because for a second, I thought it was you.”

Even if Baekhyun could form a thought in his head, he doesn’t have enough time to respond before Sehun is snoring gently.


	12. Chapter 12

This groan is different from his usual post-drinking groan. This groan is a mix of a hangover and his joints aching from sleeping on the couch. He sits up slowly, taking a long, deep breath, and sighs. He feels like actual death and his mouth is so dry he’s not sure sound would come out if he tried to speak. He trudges slowly to the kitchen, too lazy to get a glass from the cabinet, and drinks straight from the faucet like an animal. It’s refreshing, cold and spilling down his chin, but he continues gulping the water down like he’d been stranded in the desert for a week.

He fishes a couple pills from the drawer beside the silverware; he needs to get rid of this throbbing headache.

After using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, he makes his way to Baekhyun’s room, because he always pities Sehun when he’s hungover like the best friend he is. But, to Sehun’s dismay, Baekhyun isn’t home. He pouts like a child and returns to the living room to find his phone.

_where are you_

Sehun grabs his biggest, warmest blanket and his phone charger from his room, then returns to the living room to curl up on the couch and wait for Baekhyun’s reply.

_library studying_

_on a Saturday??_

He adds a few crying emojis to be cute and then turns onto his side so he can lay his head flat on the cushion. As he waits for Baekhyun’s next message, he tries to piece together his night. Sadly, there isn’t much he remembers. Kissing Luhan though, he couldn’t forget. There’s something else too, something giving him an unpleasant feeling, but he can’t place what it is.

_yea_

Sehun pouts once again. Baekhyun never sends him one word answers. Ever. Suddenly, that something else he can’t remember strikes fear in him. Did he do something bad last night? Something to make Baekhyun angry with him. He closes his eyes, squeezes his eyelids tight, begging his brain to work for once in its life.

Just as Sehun thinks he might be remembering what happened once he got home last night, the apartment door opens. He opens his eyes expecting Baekhyun, only to be disappointed by Chanyeol.

“I have a key,” Chanyeol says, deciphering the confused look on Sehun’s face.

“Baek’s not here,” Sehun mumbles with his cheek still smashed against the couch.

“I know. I’m here for you.”

The serious tone to Chanyeol’s voice worries Sehun, and he sits upright. Why is Chanyeol glaring at him? Why is he suddenly sweating?

“Why are you here for me?”

“Because,” Chanyeol says, taking a few steps closer, “Baekhyun came to my apartment this morning in tears because of you and I’m going to give you a single chance to explain yourself before I snap you in half like the skinny little twig you are.”

It’s a bone-chilling threat, only intensified by the smile Chanyeol kept throughout it. Sehun gulps audibly and flinches when Chanyeol moves forward more.

Sehun kicks his brain into overdrive, retraces the steps he took after leaving the party. Luhan, restaurant, Baekhyun waiting up for him. But, he just can’t remember what they had talked about. Chanyeol cracks his knuckles; Sehun doesn’t know if it’s purposeful or not, but it works and the lightbulb goes off in his brain.

“I told him I kissed Luhan last night, didn’t I?”

Chanyeol is close enough that he only needs to lean forward to place his hand over Sehun’s entire face and push him back into the couch. “No, moron. You told him you were sad because you thought you were kissing him.” Chanyeol sighs and crosses his arms. “He thinks you think he’s...repulsive, I believe is the word he used.”

Sehun jumps to his feet. “I would never say that. Even drunk, I would never say that to him.” He can’t describe the feeling in his chest, the heaviness; his blood feels thick in his veins as he swallows the lump in his throat. Why does he feel like crying?

“I was sad because I wasn’t kissing him!” Sehun shouts this, feeling defensive under Chanyeol’s skeptical gaze. He wraps his arms around himself and sits on the couch, blinks up at the ceiling to get rid of the tears forming in his eyes. He looks up at Chanyeol, looming over him, staring.

“So, you wanted to be kissing Baekhyun?” Chanyeol’s voice is low, calm. His posture no longer says that he wants to beat Sehun’s ass.

“I-I mean…that’s what I told him last night,” he shrugs, “I don’t know why though.” Sehun buries his face in his hands. “Why would I say that?” He looks up, “Why the fuck would I say that?”

“Maybe because you meant it?” Sehun gives Chanyeol another confused look and, for a second, Chanyeol looks like he might actually hit Sehun, but he settles for clenching his fists in the air between them. “Are you really as stupid as you look?”

Sehun glares, but pouts. He crosses his arms over his chest childishly. “I’m not stupid,” he mumbles.

“Could have fooled me.”

“I liked you better when you barely talked to me.”

“And, I liked you better when you weren’t being a complete ass,” Chanyeol spits back as he walks to the door. “I knew you were gonna do this to him,” is the last thing he says before he slams the door behind him.

 

 

Sehun is sulking.

Chanyeol did a great job of making him feel like a piece of shit and, as much as he doesn’t want to side with Chanyeol on this, he knows he deserves the way he feels right now. Did he really make Baekhyun cry? Is he really so inconsiderate of Baekhyun’s feelings that he’d come home and tell him about kissing someone? That he wishes it was Baekhyun instead of someone else?

He made Baekhyun cry.

He whines pathetically and throws his head back, thrashes around on the couch until his blanket falls to the floor. He hates himself right now. Why would he tell Baekhyun that, unless…No. No, absolutely not. He doesn’t feel that way about Baekhyun. That’s absurd. Baekhyun is his best friend and he refuses to do that again.

But, what if he did, he thinks. He sits up, elbows digging into his knees and his head resting on his hands. There’s a glare set on his face. What if he does feel that way about Baekhyun? Would it really be so bad? He groans and rubs his face with both hands; he just doesn’t have it in him anymore to think about things like this.

So, to take his mind off of his own misery, he drags his backpack and laptop from his room and begins all the homework he has due on Monday he hasn’t started yet. He was planning on taking zeros on the assignments, but he’ll do anything to take his mind off of his life right now.

 

The next few hours are spent looking up answers to online homework on Quizlet, going in and out of the kitchen to grab snacks, and periodically checking his phone. Each time he unlocks his phone he’s hoping to already have a text from Baekhyun. It’s never the case, though, and he wants to message him. But he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if he should apologize, or try to pretend like nothing happened. He doesn’t know if Baekhyun even wants to talk to him.

At a little past 9pm, Baekhyun isn’t home and hasn’t messaged Sehun, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little worried. So, with a heavy sigh, he reluctantly messages Chanyeol.

_i know you don’t want to talk to me but I just wanted to know if you know where baekhyun is? he hasn’t been home all day_

The ping from his phone nearly makes him jump and he’s suddenly terrified to read the text.

_he’ll be home soon. ur dead to me_

Sehun shivers, wondering what he’s done now.

 

The front door bursts open and Sehun nearly jumps out of his skin. He’d refocused, studying hard, and the sudden slam of door against wall startles him to the core. What he sees when he looks up is Baekhyun with Chanyeol behind him, seemingly supporting Baekhyun’s full weight. The glance Sehun shares with Chanyeol tells him that Baekhyun is, in fact, absolutely smashed and wouldn’t be upright if it weren’t for Chanyeol’s arms hooked under Baekhyun’s.

Sehun would find all this amusing if he wasn’t absolutely terrified of Chanyeol right now. His eyes look like fire, and they’re focused directly at Sehun. He rearranges Baekhyun in his arms and helps him over to the couch where he maneuvers him into a slumped, but sitting position.

“Someone had fun,” Sehun jokes for lack of anything else to say; Chanyeol glares.

“Yeah, a little too much fun,” Chanyeol says, trying his best to get Baekhyun to stay upright. “And a little too much tequila as well.”

Baekhyun realizes now that Sehun is in the room and his entire face lights up, and he pushes himself away from Chanyeol’s grasp.

“Sehun. Sehuuuun. My favorite roommate Sehunnie,” he chants with every unstable move he makes.

“I’m your only roommate, but thanks.”

Chanyeol huffs at Sehun’s remark, then quickly gasps as Baekhyun almost topples over. He catches himself at the last second and takes a moment to steady himself as best as he can, then continues his journey across the couch toward Sehun.

When Baekhyun crashes head first into Sehun’s lap it knocks the wind out of both of them. Sehun lets out a breathy “Oof,” and pushes at Baekhyun’s head to rearrange his positioning so that his balls aren’t being smashed to bits.

When Baekhyun begins reaching both arms up, trying to tug at Sehun’s hair, Sehun gives Chanyeol a pleading look. Chanyeol’s eyes narrow; he shakes his head and takes a small step back. Sehun’s eyes beg please, but Chanyeol continues his retreat.

“You wanna stay and watch a movie?” Sehun asks him; Baekhyun’s fingers are massaging Sehun’s neck now.

“Nope,” Chanyeol says with a hand on the door, “gotta go study.”

It’s a long few minutes of silence while Baekhyun just scratches and rubs at Sehun’s head, his eyes closed and mouth open slightly as Sehun just stares straight ahead, holding his breath. It does feel good, Sehun must admit, and Baekhyun’s head shifting in his lap feels good as well. Perhaps a little too good.

“Uh,” Sehun mumbles, “B-Baek, can you sit up?”

“Mhhhh,” and it comes sounding much too close to a moan. Baekhyun’s eyes open and he smiles, perfect teeth showing, eyes vanishing, “Don’t wanna.” And, he says it so happily, so cheerfully, that Sehun almost forgets that the constant rubbing of the back of Baekhyun’s head is, admittedly, turning him on.

But, he persists. He shifts so that Baekhyun’s head falls from his lap, leaving him crumpled on his side. And the sad, so very sad look Baekhyun gives up to him almost makes Sehun regret moving.

For once in his life, Sehun wants to get back to studying, he even gets as far as reaching for his textbook he’d placed on the arm of the couch, but he’s stopped by Baekhyun suddenly jumping up onto his knees.

“Sehun,” he says softly, eyes only half-open, “can I tell you a secret?”

His gulp resonates in the silent room; it’s so quiet Sehun swears he can hear the sound of Baekhyun blinking at him. He’s absolutely terrified of what’s going to come out of Baekhyun’s mouth. Baekhyun scoots just a little closer, still on his knees which are now touching Sehun’s thigh. And then, he leans forward and presses his lips to Sehun’s temple.

“I drank so much tequila.” He falls onto his back in a fit of giggles, arms crossed over his stomach as he laughs. After a moment, he calms himself. His legs are now situated in Sehun’s lap and he still has that goofy grin on his lips. He lifts his head just a little and looks right at Sehun. “My real secret is,” some more giggles, “I kissed a boy in the bathroom at the bar.” He bites down on his lip to hold in laughter as he lays his head back down to stare at the ceiling.

And, the admission shouldn’t bother Sehun. It doesn’t. He doesn’t think about it for the next two hours as he tries to read his textbook while Baekhyun snores away on the couch still beside him. It doesn’t have him grinding his pen into his notebook in angry squiggles. He surely doesn’t fall asleep glaring at his ceiling in the dark, wondering just what the hell Baekhyun was thinking.

 

Sehun misses his morning class because he forgot to turn his alarms on before bed last night. He’s tired and in a foul mood, so he decides to just skip all his classes today in fear of snapping at a professor or fellow student. Instead, he keeps himself locked in his room wearing a dirty hoodie and jeans, and his messy bedhead he’s too lazy to tame at the moment. When he finally does step into the shower, he just stands under the stream, letting the water splash into his face.

It’s a morning filled with sighs and restlessness until finally, around noon, Baekhyun wakes up face down on the couch where Sehun had left him last night.

Sehun can hear Baekhyun’s distressed, hungover wailing from the kitchen. It takes a lot of mental preparation, but he finally gets up and makes his way into the living room. Baekhyun is seated on the couch, holding a glass of water to his lips with both hands. He looks rough; his hair is a mess, his eyes are only half open, and there’s dried drool at the corner of his mouth.

“Hey,” Sehun says.

Baekhyun just grunts, takes a large gulp of water, then whimpers as he grabs the side of his head with one hand.

“Chanyeol said you drank a lot of tequila last night.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Sehun wants to laugh. Any other time he’d laugh, but the tension between them is eating away at his sanity and he’s stuck between wanting to throw up or just going back to his room and avoiding Baekhyun at all costs. Instead, he smiles.

“You okay?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Fine.”

There’s a long, uncomfortably awkward silence. Sehun can tell that Baekhyun doesn’t want to talk, understandably so, but he needs to address what Baekhyun told him last night. He doesn’t know why, but he does.

“So you— I mean, last night you said that you made out with some guy at the bar?” He has no idea why it comes out as a question; it’s not a question at all.

“Yeah, so?”

Baekhyun is snapping at him; Sehun knows he deserves this. He also knows he’s the reason Baekhyun went out and got so drunk last night. He practically pushed Baekhyun into the mouth of some random stranger who thought making out in a dirty bar bathroom was good enough for Baekhyun.

Sehun’s jaw drops and he lets out a huff when he realizes what it is that he’s feeling. He’s jealous. Of someone he doesn’t even know. Someone he’s never even seen. The realization fills him with panic and suddenly the room is too hot, too small, he’s angry. At himself. At Baekhyun for some reason.

“That was really careless of you,” Sehun says, and he doesn’t know why he says it. The look Baekhyun gives him, the way his head snaps up to look at him, Sehun knows he’s fucked up. Yet again. But, Sehun just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. “In a bathroom, Baekhyun? Really? Do you even know how dirty that is?”

Sehun knows he’s spewing total bullshit at Baekhyun, that he doesn’t even mean any of this. But, he just wants to rid himself of this weird, unnecessary jealousy and, for some reason, it manifests as anger. Somewhere deep, deep down Sehun knows the anger is misplaced. He knows he’s truly mad at himself for being such a coward. But, he finds it much easier to blame Baekhyun rather than himself for the miserable way he’s feeling right now.

Baekhyun calmly sets his glass on the table, clears his throat, and looks at Sehun. He looks absolutely defeated, completely over all of this drama, sick of trying to win Sehun over. “Don’t lecture me,” he says, shakes his head. He doesn’t look angry, just hurt.

Sehun just can’t seem to stop hurting him. He wishes he could stop.

“I’m just saying that—”

Baekhyun stands and now the anger finally comes out. He points a finger in Sehun’s face. “You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.” His chest is heaving; Baekhyun is physically so much smaller than Baekhyun, but Sehun feels tiny under his livid gaze. “You. Are not my boyfriend, Oh Sehun.”

Sehun keeps his head down, terrified to make eye contact. When Baekhyun sniffles, he looks up just long enough to see Baekhyun wipe at his face with the back of his hand. The sight makes Sehun’s stomach turn; he’d made Baekhyun cry again.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispers. He does look into Baekhyun’s eyes now, wraps his arms around himself. “I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.” Without another word Sehun gets up and slips his shoes on, grabs his keys from the table, and leaves. He knows he shouldn’t go, but he’s always been much better at running away than facing his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE this is finally the end of the angst! Thanks to everyone who's stuck around to read through this absolute mess of a fic, I love you. Anywayyy, cute how Baek and Sehun are so similar huh? Both go out and get drunk and make poor decisions. And Chanyeol is such a sweetheart when he's not wanting to kill Sehun. Two more chapters left guys! See you for the next one!!


	13. Chapter 13

He’s known for a while now, he thinks, that he’s had these budding feelings for Baekhyun. There’s no mistaking the way Baekhyun’s smile makes him feel, how it creates giddy, electric bubbles under his skin. He could never ignore how it feels cuddling up with him under blankets on the couch, falling asleep with his head in Baekhyun’s lap. All of it just felt, and feels, so natural. So right.

Maybe he’s been fighting it for some time. Maybe he’s been trying to push the feelings down because, at first, there was Jongin, and then he was just plain terrified to feel anything for anyone. He’s sure now, that he’s had feelings for Baekhyun from the moment he took Baekhyun’s hand in the library. Sehun’s just been too stupid to admit it to himself. He can’t deny it any longer.

No, not when Baekhyun is losing interest, or perhaps, backing off to protect himself. He can’t deny that this concern he feels for Baekhyun’s wellbeing, the reason he’d lectured him, is anything other than jealousy.

Sehun is jealous. Of a boy he doesn’t even know the name of, a boy he doesn’t even know to truly exist. Maybe he’s someone Baekhyun made up to trick Sehun into thinking he doesn’t care for him anymore, or just part of a fake scenario used to get a reaction out of him. Sehun isn’t sure, but he knows he doesn’t like how hearing Baekhyun had kissed someone made him feel. Like he’s less important than he’d thought he was. He wonders if this is how Baekhyun felt when he’d told him about kissing Luhan. Chanyeol was right, he is an absolute ass.

And worst of all is, Baekhyun had misinterpreted what Sehun told him about the kiss with Luhan. How could he ever find Baekhyun repulsive? How could he ever want to kiss anyone other than Baekhyun?

 

He’s been sitting here for hours. So long, in fact, he’s watched the sun go down and the moon take its place. When he left the apartment earlier he had no destination in mind, he’d just let his feet carry him as his mind fell into a blank restlessness.

He found himself in the middle of campus, just outside the coffee shop he frequents with Baekhyun. The one with the bench outside that he has now rooted himself to for the past countless hours, moving only to buy coffee after coffee. His hands are shaking, from nerves, or caffeine; he’s unsure at this point but it’s probably an even mixture.

He sighs, both hands still wrapped tight around his to-go coffee cup, and leans his head back against the brick wall behind him. He’s selfish and he knows it. He knows he’s stupid, as well. He frowns; he really isn’t good enough for Baekhyun. He deserves someone much, much more intelligent than Sehun could ever hope to be. He bangs his head against the brick and closes his eyes, head tipped up at the stars.

“What is wrong with me?” He whispers into the night.

He opens his eyes and gasps, jumps so hard his hand crushes his coffee cup, spilling the lukewarm beverage on himself.

“Jesus Christ, Chanyeol! Wear a bell or something.”

“Sorry.” His grin is sheepish. “You told me to meet you here. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You’re buying me a new coffee,” Sehun says with a huff as he gets to his feet, brushing off the few droplets of coffee that haven’t already soaked into his jeans. “Let’s go.”

 

“So…” They speak at the same time, both pausing for the other to go first.

Finally, Sehun gives in. He sighs. “Look, I know we didn’t really leave off on a good note the last time we talked.” He looks up at Chanyeol, trying to assess his level of annoyance with him at the current moment. It seems low, so he continues. “But, I…I don’t…have anyone else to talk to. You and Baekhyun are my only actual friends.” He has a lump in his throat and it’s hard to meet Chanyeol’s eyes; he’s never felt as small and vulnerable as he does right now.

So, when Chanyeol wraps an arm around his shoulder, Sehun instantly leans into its comforting warmth. They step forward together and place their drink order, then move to the side to wait, all the while Chanyeol keeps his arm heavy on Sehun’s shoulders.

“You’re a really good guy, you know that?” Sehun mumbles, feeling too ashamed to look up. He feels like he has no right to complement Chanyeol’s character after the way he’s acted recently. But, in true Chanyeol fashion, he just hums and shakes Sehun side to side a bit, his way of thanking Sehun without actually saying it.

After receiving their drinks, they sit across from each other in a small booth, and Sehun lets slip every single emotion he’s felt for the past three months, sparing no detail. Once his mouth opens, his feelings pour out and won’t stop. He tells Chanyeol about how he’d really met Baekhyun all those months ago. How he’d thought he was cute back then. How he was constantly telling himself to stop thinking about Baekhyun. He spills everything and it’s relieving, getting all this off his chest. He tells Chanyeol about the many times he’d wanted to kiss Baekhyun, about how he’s been fighting with himself for so long to convince his brain that his heart didn’t want Baekhyun as desperately as it did. And still does.

Sehun tells Chanyeol about how he was jealous, about how hurt Baekhyun looked earlier and how much it hurt Sehun to see him like that. About how much he hated knowing he was the reason Baekhyun was so upset. And finally, he says it. Says there was no big epiphany, no spotlight-worthy inner monologue moment; he just looked at Baekhyun and knew.

“I like him, Chanyeol. So much I don’t know what to do with myself.”

It feels weird to be telling Chanyeol all of these things, things that Chanyeol has felt for Baekhyun at one point or another. But, Chanyeol really is the best best friend, and only wants for Baekhyun what will make him happy, even if it’s not him. Sehun, for a moment, wishes Baekhyun would have just returned Chanyeol’s feelings and saved himself all of this heartache. His selfish side is glad Baekhyun didn’t.

“I’m scared,” Sehun admits. “What if this is just another Jongin situation and I only like him because he’s the only person around to give me attention?”

Chanyeol shakes his head and chuckles. “Man, you really are as stupid as you look.”

Sehun pouts.

“You don’t get to see the way you look at him. Or how you smile when he smiles at you.” He takes a drink from his coffee and grins. “I’ve seen the way you used to look at Jongin, and it doesn’t even compare to the way you look at Baekhyun.”

“Really?”

“You want to know why it was so easy for me to let go of him?” He waits for Sehun to nod before continuing. “It’s because of how happy you make him. Dude, you’re stupid in love with him. I think he realizes it, too, and that’s why he’s so angry at this whole situation. He’s just been stuck waiting around for you to get your head out of your ass.”

At the word love, Sehun falters. That’s a word he has a rough history with, and he’s more terrified now than he was before.

“You gotta stop overthinking everything,” Chanyeol insists. “Just go back to the apartment and tell Baekhyun how you feel.”

“I can’t.”

“That’s exactly how you ended up letting Jongin hurt you for so long. You gotta learn to deal with shit and talk about your feelings, you can’t always just bottle everything up, dude.” He gives Sehun’s hand on the table a reassuring pat. “And anyway, you already know how Baek feels about you. So, that’s half the battle won already. You can do it.”

Sehun hums; he knows Chanyeol is right. He hates that Chanyeol is right. “You should be a psych major instead of me.”

Chanyeol stretches his arms behind his head and laughs, “I’ve thought about it. Now go, don’t make me regret getting over him.”

Sehun nods. He stands and thanks Chanyeol. He’s going to do this; he’s going to tell Baekhyun how he feels.

 

The courage Chanyeol gave him lasts only until he steps off the elevator onto his floor. He knows just a few steps down the hall is his apartment, where Baekhyun is. He takes a moment to himself, tries to reignite his previous courage, tries to psych himself up to do this. In his mind, he replays what Chanyeol told him: Baekhyun obviously likes him, he won’t get rejected and hurt like he did with Jongin. With a final deep breath, he shakes off his nerves and storms toward his door.

Baekhyun is sitting cross-legged on the couch when Sehun walks in. Without his head pushing his feelings down, Sehun now sees for the first time just how beautiful Baekhyun really is. Even in his wrinkled shirt. Even with his messy hair. Even with that sour look on Baekhyun’s face directed at Sehun. He’s perfect.

Sehun doesn’t know what to say. Baekhyun is just staring at him, waiting. Sehun takes a deep breath and sighs. “I’m sorry I’m a huge fucking idiot.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen, eyebrows raise. He uncrosses his legs and leans back a little, but he doesn’t speak.

“I like you, Baekhyun, like a lot. And I’m a moron and big baby and I was scared to tell you, okay? But, I’m telling you now because I don’t want you to kiss people in bathrooms at bars. I want you to kiss me.”

Baekhyun’s expression softens now and he even smiles a little. Still, his shoulders drop because he knows there’s more to it. “But?”

Sehun sighs, “But, I’m scared.” He begins pacing nervously. “I don’t want you to be another Jongin. I-I don’t want to like you just because you’re there. Or lead you on and end up hurting you.” He stops to look at Baekhyun with a pained expression; Baekhyun deserves the truth.

“I’m just scared that I’m not good enough for you.”

Baekhyun nods and his eyes are so warm, expression so gentle. He stands and steps forward, grabs the side of Sehun’s face, and sighs. “Sehun…” There aren’t tears in his eyes, but they’re watery, sparkling almost. His thumb swipes at Sehun’s cheek bone just before he brings his other hand up to Sehun’s other cheek.

“You carry me home when I’m too drunk to want to walk. You cover me with a blanket if I fall asleep on the couch. When I’m stressed over classes you take my mind off things. You nap with me, order my favorite Chinese food when you know I skipped lunch.” Baekhyun’s smile widens as he speaks, head shaking side to side; his hands have slid down to grip Sehun’s shoulders. “You’re…too good for me,” he says, looking assuredly into Sehun’s eyes.

“But, I—”

“Chanyeol told me what you said this morning, that I misunderstood you.” His hands return to Sehun’s cheeks and he leans back to get a better look at his gorgeous face. “It can be me, if you want. It could have always been me.”

Sehun is trembling; he’s never been so scared of anything in his life. He’s never had to make a decision like this either, and he’s not sure if he likes the responsibility. The decision lies in his hands now, whether his and Baekhyun’s relationship changes. He wants it, he knows that now. But, he’s not sure he’s ready for it just yet.

Baekhyun’s eyes close the second Sehun’s fingers touch his skin. He’s got his palm pressed to the side of Baekhyun’s neck, fingertips massaging into the fine hairs at the back of his neck. He can see when Baekhyun gulps and Sehun understands; he’s nervous, too. Baekhyun’s breath stutters when Sehun drags him forward, and he sighs, lips curling into a small smile when Sehun presses his lips to Baekhyun’s forehead.

Sehun pulls away, removes his hand from Baekhyun’s neck, and stares at the floor to hide his red face. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Baekhyun asks.

“For letting me work through things. For not hating me.”

Baekhyun smiles now, “I could never. I mean, yeah you piss me off, but I would never hate you.” He stands and closes the short distance between them with a tight hug around Sehun’s waist.

Sehun wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulders and tucks his head in, sighing into Baekhyun’s neck. “I’m sorry for making you cry.”

“Twice,” Baekhyun reminds.

Sehun winces, “Right. I’m sorry for making you cry twice.” He pulls back to look down at Baekhyun beaming up at him. “I’ll never do it again.”

“I know.” Baekhyun just grins.

 

After a very, very long late night talk, they come to an agreement while they’re shoveling cold pizza into their mouths. They talk about their feelings, and what they mean, how to go forward from here. Sehun is uncomfortable most of the time; talking about feelings is still hard for him, but he works his way through it and fully expresses just how much Baekhyun means to him.

They end the talk with another hug and go their separate ways, to their own beds, and finally fall asleep around five in the morning and sleep well into the later half of the day.

It isn’t at all awkward like Sehun expected it to be when he wakes up. They fall easily into their usual routine: lunch at the student center, coffee at the café next door, last minute homework in the library, and then a movie on the couch before bed.

This routine continues as days turn into weeks, and they grow closer, their friendship unchanging. Some days Baekhyun is more flirtatious than usual, he’ll cuddle a little closer, hold Sehun’s hand a little longer. But still, he respects Sehun’s wish to take things slowly. They’re closer than ever, but there is a distance they keep. No kissing, nothing sexual, and Baekhyun is fine with that; he’s willing to wait for Sehun to be ready. Baekhyun would wait an eternity for him, if that’s how long he needed.

 

“So, are you two like, together yet?” Chanyeol asks over lunch on a Tuesday in November.

Sehun and Baekhyun share a look and shake their heads in unison. Chanyeol looks floored.

“After all that drama, you two aren’t dating? Please explain.”

“We’re taking things slow, for Sehun’s sake,” Baekhyun says with a sly grin. “If it was up to me, you’d be eating lunch alone and we’d be home fucking right now.”

Sehun chokes on his water and kicks Baekhyun’s leg under the table. He smiles to himself, though, there’s the Baekhyun he met in the library.

“Only joking,” Baekhyun laughs, “We haven’t even kissed yet,” he says to Chanyeol. Sehun blushes; Baekhyun thinks it’s adorable.

“Hey! I kissed your forehead that time,” Sehun defends.

“You sure did,” Baekhyun gives Sehun a reassuring smile and then leans his head on his shoulder.

“You guys are going to be so gross after you finally kiss.”

Baekhyun sighs dreamily, “I know. I’m so excited!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with one chapter left, I though it was time for a little end note. I hope everyone is enjoying this fic as much as I am, and hopefully this chapter was everything you've all been waiting for. Next chapter will just be a little closure for the two.
> 
> Come hang out on twitter with me @sincelight 


	14. Chapter 14

Halloween comes approximately one month after Sehun’s confession to Baekhyun. They’re not together, though they have gone on what most people would consider dates. And, on the 31st, when it’s time for one of the most popular frat’s annual Halloween party, Sehun and Baekhyun shimmy into their coordinated costumes and head out of their apartment to meet up with Chanyeol who has already been drinking at the party, Baekhyun assumes by the string of misspelled words in Chanyeol’s texts.

It takes only a moment to find Chanyeol in the crowded house. Even with everyone in costumes, he’s easily picked out of a crowd because of his height. Baekhyun leads Sehun over, having spotted Chanyeol first.

“Officer,” Chanyeol slurs, looking down and giving Baekhyun a sleazy smile. He hands Baekhyun an orange plastic cup and Sehun a black one, and grins. “You must be his prisoner?”

Sehun nods, “He insisted on a couples costume.”

“You love it,” Baekhyun says from behind the cup pressed to his lips. Sehun sneers and Baekhyun mirrors him. “Don’t make me use these,” he says, placing his hand over the handcuffs hanging from his beltloop.

Sehun rolls his eyes, but it’s harmless and half-hearted, and Baekhyun presses against him and smiles, and Sehun’s heart flutters. 

“Alright,” Chanyeol says, raising his cup up high, “You two have all night to be gross, but right now, let’s get spooky wasted!”

It’s not a thing, definitely not. But, Chanyeol loves Halloween and he’s a little drunk, so they humor him and raise their cups along with him, shouting a cheers to a spooky night.

 

Chanyeol’s birthday puts them at two months and three days since Sehun confessed to Baekhyun. He knows because he’s begun keeping track. He has a plan in his mind, a secret kept from Baekhyun, that he’ll ask him to be his boyfriend at the three month mark if things continue to go well between them. Chanyeol asks everyday if they’re dating yet, and the answer is always no. But, in the back of Sehun’s mind, he’s counting down the days until he can proudly say yes. Absolutely. Finally.

Again, Baekhyun is dragging Sehun by the wrist. They’re late for their dinner with Chanyeol and it has Baekhyun slightly panicked, taking longer strides and weaving through people on the crowded sidewalk. He curses a few times, wondering why so many people are even out in the cold to begin with. Sehun watches this all from behind, smiling.

“Sorry we’re late,” Baekhyun says; he’s slightly out of breath but he takes his seat with perfect posture and a gleaming smile. “We—”

Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows before Baekhyun can finish and gets a weak slap to the arm.

“We fell asleep on the couch watching a nature documentary,” Baekhyun says with an unamused expression. “Pervert.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun engage in a stand-off, staring into each other’s eyes wordlessly. “So, happy birthday,” Sehun interrupts, and he’s pleased when Chanyeol breaks his and Baekhyun’s eye contact to grin at him.

“Thanks! Do I have presents?” He makes grabby hands in Sehun’s direction, eyes darting between Sehun, Baekhyun, and the giftbag pressed between them in the booth.

“So annoying,” Baekhyun says with a sigh, but he chuckles and hands over the bag.

The present is just something small; they are broke-ish college kids after all. But, Chanyeol loves it. He holds the small trinket up to his face, mouth hanging open as he twists and turns it in his hands.

“This is so cool,” Chanyeol whispers.

“Took me forever to find it online,” Baekhyun says before taking a sip of his water, “I had no idea it was called a celestial sphere.”

“Yeah!” Chanyeol is visibly excited, eyes wide as he nods happily at his best friend. “They’re used for figuring out the star’s locations in the sky depending on time and date and stuff. It’s super cool!”

“So, you like it?” Sehun asks, he’s joking because obviously Chanyeol loves it, but he’s amused by Chanyeol’s excitement.

“Dude, you have no idea. Everyone in my astro class is gonna be so jealous. I’m gonna wear it like a necklace.”

Baekhyun takes Sehun’s hand under the table; he laces their fingers and squeezes, giving Sehun a knowing little side-eye.

“So I heard about your girlfriend,” Baekhyun says suddenly, taking both Sehun and Chanyeol by surprise. Sehun kicks at Baekhyun’s foot, but Baekhyun ignores it in favor of staring expectantly at Chanyeol. He flutters his eyelashes.

“I…She’s not my girlfriend.” Chanyeol is staring at the table, giving the back of his head an awkward scratch. “She’s a…friend. We-we got coffee the other day.” He’s stammering, clearly nervous, caught in an uncomfortable situation. He assumed telling Sehun something in confidence would leave it between them, but he should know better that Baekhyun would find out eventually. “It wasn’t a date. I don’t think it was anyway. I don’t think she even likes me like that.”

“Do you like her like that?” Baekhyun pushes; his heart is swelling for his best friend. All he wants is to see Chanyeol happy.

Chanyeol looks up now, into Baekhyun’s eyes, and nods slowly. “I do, yeah.”

“She has to like you,” Baekhyun insists, “It’s you. What’s not to like?”

“You want me to leave you two alone?” Sehun interrupts the touching moment with a playful smirk; Baekhyun slaps his chest.

“Shut up, you big baby.” He nuzzles his cheek against Sehun’s bicep. “You know I like you best.”

 

 

“I don’t even know why we’re doing this,” Baekhyun says as if he’s complaining, but his face gives away just how excited he is. “They’re going to like you no matter what.”

“They better,” Sehun says, plain and simple. “I’ve never met parents that didn’t like me, and I’m not about to ruin that streak.”

They’re baking Christmas cookies together because tomorrow is Christmas and Baekhyun’s parents are coming over, and Sehun is nervous. Baekhyun said the way to their hearts is through nicely decorated sugar cookies, so Sehun’s been stuffed into a frilly apron Baekhyun pulled from the depths of a cupboard. Baekhyun’s is by far more frilly, with little pink, sprinkled cupcakes on it and a band of glitter lining the edges. Sehun doesn’t even bother asking where or why Baekhyun got them. He just smiles as Baekhyun knots the ties into a bow behind his back.

“There,” Baekhyun says as he steps in front of Sehun, “now we’re ready to get baking.”

They make an absolute mess of the kitchen. It’s mostly Sehun’s doing; he’s uncoordinated with measuring spoons and doesn’t know much about baking in general. So, when he’s handed a whisk and the large bowl of various ingredients, he really goes for it, and flour ends up everywhere.

Baekhyun sighs, but he laughs. Sehun has an even coating of flour covering nearly his entire body.

“You look like the ghost of Christmas past,” Baekhyun teases.

Sehun stretches his shirt out and lets it snap back, sending a puff of flour bursting out. “I should probably go change.”

“Probably,” Baekhyun agrees, “I’ll clean up your mess and get the cookies in the oven.” They share a sweet smile before Sehun disappears into the living room.

When Sehun returns to the kitchen, now flour free, Chanyeol is in there holding two gift bags in one hand, while Baekhyun slaps at the other before he can scoop some of the frosting from the bowl with his fingers.

Sehun clears his throat to get their attention and Chanyeol quickly steals a finger of frosting while Baekhyun isn’t paying attention. When Sehun crosses the kitchen to stand beside Baekhyun, he’s forced back into his apron. Baekhyun then jams a hat onto Chanyeol’s head because he laughs and tells them they look ridiculous in their baking attire.

“Now everyone looks ridiculous,” Baekhyun teases as Chanyeol pouts over the large elf ears standing upright on either side of his hat.

Chanyeol’s pout is quickly replaced with a bright grin as he hoists the two bags up onto the table. “I got you each a gift. Didn’t know if it was appropriate or not to get you a couple’s gift yet.” The look he gives them is questioning.

“We’re taking things—”

“Slow, I know,” Chanyeol finishes for Baekhyun. “But, I mean come on.”

“You sound like you want this more than we do,” Sehun teases.

“I just…you know what? Leave me alone, you guys are mean. I should have just went to my girlfriend’s instead.” Chanyeol is fake pouting, and it’s hilarious paired with the elf hat he’s wearing. “And, I know you made me wear this hat because of my ears.”

Sehun and Baekhyun howl with laughter.

 

Before Sehun was around, Baekhyun and Chanyeol held the tradition of spending Christmas Eve together before they went their separate ways the next morning to visit their families. They would drink eggnog that was more rum than anything else, sing Christmas songs, and decorate cookies that they could bring home as gifts for their mothers.

This year is a little different though. The cookies are already baked and Chanyeol is only over to give Baekhyun and Sehun their gifts, then he’s going to his parent’s house a little early. Baekhyun had sulked at first when Chanyeol told him he wouldn’t be staying, but he said that it’s about time they broke their tradition in light of new ones. He meant, of course, for Sehun and Baekhyun together.

“We still have our Easter tradition,” Chanyeol jokes as he zips his coat. He’s on his way out the door, a cooled, undecorated sugar cookie hanging from his mouth. “I’ll never let that one go.”

Baekhyun glares. Chanyeol laughs. Sehun is confused.

“So,” Sehun says as he leans on the counter, watching Baekhyun cut cookie dough into various Christmas shapes. “What do you guys do for Easter?”

“It’s stupid.”

Sehun steps up behind Baekhyun; he slips his arms around his waist and rests his head on his shoulder. “I wanna know,” he murmurs.

Baekhyun sighs and reaches for his glass of wine. He’s calmed down his drinking since the terrible tequila night, as he and Sehun have rightfully named it. He’s a refined man now, only occasionally sipping from dollar store wine glasses filled with cheap, low-quality wine. After a large gulp, he turns to face Sehun. “We go to the mall and get our picture taken with the Easter Bunny.”

Sehun chuckles, “That is stupid.”

“I literally can’t even remember how we started doing it, but we do it every year.”

“You guys are idiots and I love it.”

“Yeah. I’ll show you the pictures later if you want.”

Sehun grabs Baekhyun’s wine glass and downs the rest of it before laughing. “I absolutely want to see the pictures.”

 

Like Baekhyun, Sehun had Christmas Eve traditions with Jongin. They would order in and watch those awful claymation movies, then get drunk off cheap beer that their older dorm neighbor would buy for them. He misses it now, looking back. He never thought he’d spend a Christmas away from him. Just then, Baekhyun smears red frosting across his cheek and Christmas memories with Jongin fade happily to the back of his mind.

They wrestle on the kitchen floor for a bit; Sehun is bigger so it’s easy to pin Baekhyun down and drizzle the thin icing from the piping bag onto his face.

“Stop! Stop! Oh my god, sto—” The rest of Baekhyun’s sentence is cut off as he gags on the icing Sehun squirts into his mouth. He chokes and, for a second Sehun looks worried, but then Baekhyun is laughing and giving Sehun a few weak punches. “That’s so mean!” he cries, “You could have killed me!”

Sehun stands and holds his hands out to help Baekhyun up. “You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m covered in frosting,” Baekhyun pouts, flicks at the dried icing on his shirt. “You’re so wasteful.”

“You started it.”

“You’re a child,” Baekhyun argues with a roll of his eyes.

“At least I don’t look like a child,” Sehun retorts, using his hand to measure the height difference between them.

Baekhyun’s jaw drops and he scoffs, “Rude.”

They fall silent for only a moment before bursting into laughter. Sehun grabs a few towels and tosses one to Baekhyun so they can begin cleaning up their mess which, upon further inspection, is much worse than they thought. Frosting is everywhere. The floor, the counter, sink, some even made it onto the kitchen table.

“Baek, you should probably go shower.” He waits for Baekhyun to look up at him, confused. “It kinda looks like someone came on your face.” He reaches out to pick at a bit of the white icing dried in Baekhyun’s hair and chuckles.

“Oh, you wish,” Baekhyun teases, raising one eyebrow at the other.

Maybe Baekhyun will blame it on the half-empty bottle of wine on the counter. Maybe he does it because Sehun is biting his bottom lip and it’s so incredibly enticing. Or maybe, it’s just because he’s wanted to do it for so long he can’t hold back any longer. But, he circles his hand around Sehun’s wrist and pulls him close.

And Sehun catches the tension between them, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes, his breath catches in his chest. In that stupid apron, with specks of frosting in his messy hair, even with his clothes half-covered in flour, Baekhyun is perfect. And, Sehun finally gives in. He stares at Baekhyun for a moment longer, gazes at the most beautiful person he’s ever met, inside and out. What has he been waiting for all this time?

Sehun licks his lips and, with a trembling hand, grips Baekhyun up by his apron, and pulls him in for a kiss. Baekhyun makes a pathetic little whining noise that would normally embarrass him, but he can’t be bothered enough to care. All his attention is focused on the feeling of Sehun’s lips against his. Then, Sehun takes a harsh breath in through his nose, grabs Baekhyun’s waist, and deepens the kiss, begins moving his lips while he steps forward to pin Baekhyun between himself and the counter. It’s slow and gentle; it’s everything Baekhyun has ever imagined a kiss with Sehun to feel like. 

As good as it feels, and as long overdue as it was, the kiss lasts no longer than a few seconds. Baekhyun can’t help but smile, and Sehun can feel the motion against his own lips, causing him to smile as well. And then, they’re breaking apart and giggling, blushing like a couple teenagers experiencing their first ever kiss.

“One more,” is all Baekhyun says. And, who is Sehun to deny such an endearing request?

Sehun dives back in, right where they left off. Baekhyun’s lips are soft and warm, and feel so right molding around his. Sehun pulls back, only for a moment, and Baekhyun’s eyes remain closed, lips still puckered and searching for Sehun’s.

“Please don’t stop,” Baekhyun whispers with a pout. “Please.”

Baekhyun’s eyes shoot open when Sehun suddenly grips him up by the backs of his thigs to set him on the counter. He wants to yell at Sehun because he’s dangerously close to knocking cookies on the floor, but wet lips meeting his neck stop him. He gasps instead.

“Oh my god,” he breathes, bringing his legs up to wrap them tight around Sehun. He pulls him as close as physically possible.

They make out like that, with Sehun pressed between Baekhyun’s legs, until they’re both out of breath. When they pull apart they remain close, foreheads pressed together. Their eyes finally meet, and Baekhyun’s awed expression fills Sehun with a warmth that spreads through his entire body.

“I want hot chocolate.”

Sehun is reasonably stunned by Baekhyun’s statement and he leans back. “Seriously?”

“What?” Baekhyun’s pout is so cute Sehun melts inside, but remains outwardly resilient.

“We finally just kissed and all you can think about is hot chocolate?”

“Absolutely.” Baekhyun leans forward to hide his face in Sehun’s chest. “I always drink hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.”

Sehun wraps Baekhyun in his arms and rests his chin on Baekhyun’s head. He sighs a happy, thoughtful sigh, and squeezes his arms around the shorter boy. “Can we at least clean up first?” He pushes Baekhyun back so he can inspect him, “You really do look like a mess right now.”

Baekhyun scoffs, “You’re one to talk.” He swipes a finger through the frosting on Sehun’s cheek and pops it into his mouth. He chuckles when Sehun narrows his eyes. “Alright, I’ll go shower. And then you promise we can go?”

“I promise,” Sehun says, smiling softly.

Baekhyun returns the small smile and hops off the counter, heading for the bathroom.

“Baek, wait.” Sehun quickly grabs Baekhyun’s wrist and tugs him back. The shorter yelps as he stumbles back, falling against Sehun’s chest. Arms circle his waist and turn him so that they’re facing each other. Baekhyun is going to ask what’s going on, but the question dissolves as soon as Sehun’s lips overtake his own once again.

This kiss is different than the last. Sehun tilts his head, pulls Baekhyun’s bottom lip into his mouth; his fingertips dig into Baekhyun’s waist as he drags him closer, presses Baekhyun against his front.

Baekhyun giggles when they crash into the table behind him; Sehun’s hands begin feeling up and down his body as he works his tongue into his mouth. He takes a deep breath through his nose and pushes back, deepens the already fierce kiss.

They’re both panting when they break apart. Sehun’s hair is a mess, the remaining frosting on his cheek is now smeared around thanks to Baekhyun’s hand. Sehun takes a moment to lean back and look at Baekhyun. Just look. And appreciate everything about him. His pretty eyes, pink lips, cute little nose, and that freckle just above his lip that he’s never noticed but now wants to press his lips to. So he does. And Baekhyun pushes his entire body against Sehun’s, his hands gripping tight at the sides of Sehun’s shirt. He gasps into Sehun’s mouth, eyes fluttering as Sehun’s lips move to his jawline, down to his neck.

“Shit,” Baekhyun pants, Sehun’s tongue licks a stripe from his collarbone to his earlobe, “I want you so bad.” Sehun bites down on his neck just then and Baekhyun moans. “Have for so long.”

More kissing. Then stumbling. Hands roaming and fondling, feeling all the unexplored parts of each other. Sehun groans when he bangs his shin against the coffee table in the living room; Baekhyun laughs and pushes Sehun down onto the couch and hops onto his lap. They’re still kissing.

Looking up at Baekhyun, Sehun’s heart is pounding. He wonders if Baekhyun is as calm as he looks. He can feel Baekhyun dragging gentle fingertips across the skin at the back of his neck and it causes a shiver down his spine. He’s never wanted someone so much in his life.

“No going back,” Baekhyun says.

“Not a chance,” Sehun agrees, eyes fixed on Baekhyun’s lips. Baekhyun smiles and Sehun can see the adoration in his eyes.

Their next kiss sends pleasant sparks shooting through Sehun’s body from head to toe, warming his skin, flushing his cheeks. He’d always imagined this is how it would feel to kiss Jongin and, as Baekhyun shifts in his lap to get a better angle on the kiss, Jongin is the furthest thing from his mind. But Baekhyun, he’s at the forefront. He’s the only thing Sehun could possibly think about right now; nothing else matters. His weight on Sehun’s legs, the gentle hands grasping at his shirt, the small whimpers that pass his lips when Sehun squeezes his hips. Every bit of Sehun’s mind is focused solely on Baekhyun, and it’s a freeing feeling.

With just a few minutes of kissing, years of pining, needing, wanting Jongin’s affection is wiped clean. There’s someone right in his lap willing to give him everything he’s always wanted. And god, does he want Baekhyun to give it to him.

Baekhyun gasps against Sehun’s lips, opening his mouth enough to allow Sehun to slip his tongue in. He lets a harsh breath out as he tugs Sehun’s hair, grinds his hips hard against Sehun’s lap. He’s wanted this for so long now there’s no possible way he can take things slow.

Sehun lets out a pleased hum and tosses his head back, thoroughly enjoying the fluid motion of Baekhyun’s hips. He wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s lower back and pulls him close; he giggles when Baekhyun yells as Sehun unexpectedly stands, taking Baekhyun with him. He stumbles his way down the hall, making out with Baekhyun and bouncing off walls until he finally makes it to his bedroom where he fumbles with the doorknob for a minute before getting the door open. He marches over to his bed and tosses Baekhyun onto it, wasting no time in pulling his shirt over his head and crawling slowly to his new favorite place between Baekhyun’s legs.

“Wait,” Baekhyun puts both hands up, stopping Sehun’s movements, “Wait…just give me one second.”

Sehun raises a confused brow, but pauses, staring down at Baekhyun. He’s lying on his back, elbows digging into the mattress holding him up; his hair is messy and chest heaving.

“I just,” he smiles, “want to appreciate this moment because I’ve been waiting so long.” Sehun narrows his eyes. “And you just look so good shirtless.”

Sehun hums, pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Cute,” he mutters. He watches Baekhyun’s eyes as they move from his face, trailing down his body. “You’re checking me out, aren’t you?” Sehun’s teasing now.

“I checked you out at the library the day we met, and this is way overdue.” He shoots finger guns at Sehun and winks.

Sehun wants to groan at the cheesy line and laugh at Baekhyun for even thinking it up, but he settles for just rolling his eyes. Besides, he agrees with Baekhyun; they’ve both waited much too long for this moment.

Sehun wishes he had a good comeback, but he’s not witty like Baekhyun. He stares down at the pretty boy beneath him, all soft skin and radiating body heat. Baekhyun doesn’t look real in the dim lighting, too beautiful, too perfect to be anything other than an angel. With just the slight upturn of the corners of Baekhyun’s lips, all of Sehun’s worries and fears dissolve.

“Be my boyfriend.”

The faint grin turns into a full, blinding smile, and Baekhyun grabs Sehun and pulls him down into a sweet, sweet kiss. When they pull apart, Baekhyun’s arms stay wrapped securely around Sehun’s neck; he’s grinning like a fool because Sehun is all his.

“This better not just be your way out of buying me an actual Christmas present.”

Sehun rolls his eyes again and chuckles into the side of Baekhyun’s neck where his face is hidden. “You’re so stupid.” He looks up and meets Baekhyun’s eyes. “Of course I got you a present. There’d be no end to your complaining if I didn’t.”

 

It’s cold out. The sun already set, and snow is beginning to fall. They’re both wrapped head to toe in thick winter clothes; Baekhyun’s face is nearly completely hidden beneath his hat and fluffy scarf. Sehun takes his hand and Baekhyun looks up at him, blinks, and then smiles.

Baekhyun can’t keep his mind from wandering as they walk, remembering each kiss they shared, every inch of his body Sehun put his hands on, Sehun’s mouth kissing searing trails he’s only ever dreamed of. Sehun touched him in all the gentle ways he’s always dreamed of. He blushes, cheeks hot against the cold winter air biting his skin.

“You’re staring again.”

Baekhyun shyly shifts his eyes to the ground ahead and pulls his scarf further up, over his nose to hide more of his face. “Sorry,” he says in a muffled voice. He looks back to Sehun, turning his head this time.

Sehun doesn’t look, but he can see Baekhyun’s head turn in his peripherals. He sighs, not annoyed but amused, and stops walking. Baekhyun doesn’t need to ask; Sehun crouches down and smiles, just waiting for Baekhyun to climb up onto his back. They continue walking like that.

“This feels different now,” Baekhyun says with his arms wrapped tight around Sehun’s neck.

“Probably because we’re sober,” Sehun teases.

Baekhyun hums in thought. “Probably.” He’s silent for a moment. “Have you really only ever carried me like this when we’re drunk?”

“I think so,” Sehun shrugs. He smiles when Baekhyun rests his head on his shoulder and kisses his cheek. “Your little legs can’t walk that far normally, so drunk you is basically helpless.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun kicks at Sehun’s thigh and they both laugh. “Hurry up, I want my hot chocolate.”

 

The door swings open with the soft chime of a bell, alerting the cashier of a new customer. Baekhyun had slid down Sehun’s body a block back to walk on his own and took his hand as they walked side by side. He steps into the café first and yelps softly when he’s yanked back by their intertwined fingers. He turns and Sehun is standing still in the doorway.

It’s been months. Sehun can’t count the exact amount of days, but he knows it’s been at least two full months since he’s been this near to him. There was the one morning in early October when he’d seen him walking on campus, rushing to class with a coffee in his hand. But this, being in the same room with no possibility of hiding behind campus shrubbery, this has Sehun’s blood turning cold, freezing in his veins.

Baekhyun follows Sehun’s eyes, curious as to what has Sehun’s skin paling like a ghost. He gulps and leans up to give Sehun’s cheek a gentle kiss. He presses the tip of his nose to Sehun’s cheek. “You go. I’ll order for us,” he whispers before sauntering off toward the counter.

It takes a moment for Jongin to look up from his laptop, but when he does, his eyes meet Sehun’s almost instantly. His eyes widen in shock for only a moment, but then his expression softens and he gives Sehun a small, unsure smile before closing his laptop.

Sehun thought this would be more difficult, facing Jongin after so long. But, his legs carry him forward with very little hesitation until his thighs are bumping Jongin’s table and he’s staring down at his used-to-be best friend.

“Hi,” Sehun speaks first, voice surprisingly calm.

“Hey.” Jongin can’t bring himself to meet Sehun’s eyes, not this close up. He’s fidgeting with his pen, the corner of his notebook, anything to avoid meeting Sehun’s gaze. “How’ve you been?”

“Good.” Sehun clears his throat, nods to himself because Jongin still won’t look at him. “Good. You?”

Jongin smiles, barely noticeable; he looks up at Sehun now. His smile is fake, pained. “I’ve been okay.”

Sehun sees it now, the tiredness in Jongin’s eyes, on his face. His hair isn’t styled, just sitting atop his head in a messy heap. It’s Jongin, but it’s not the same Jongin Sehun has always known. There’s a coffee stain on his pale yellow shirt and he just looks, sad.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin interrupts Sehun’s thoughts. “I-I know it doesn’t mean anything to you—” Jongin tries his hardest to smile but his lips just tremble, “—but I am.” He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to continue with his apology. “I tried calling you a million times, and texting. I just, I wanted you to know that I hate myself for what I did to you. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m a selfish asshole. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend and in my stupid head I thought lying to you was the best solution.”

“Jongin—”

“No, please let me get this all out. Please.” He waits until Sehun nods, and then continues. “I just want you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did, and I regret all the terrible things I said to you that day.”

Sehun can tell Jongin has thought about all of this, that he must have rehearsed it time and time again in his head, just waiting for the opportunity to finally apologize. “Jongin, you really don’t have to do this. Seriously, I’m okay.”

“I just miss you,” Jongin says, voice breaking as he chokes up, trying hard to keep his tears from falling. The whites of his eyes are bloodshot, his lips downturned in a pathetic pout; Sehun’s heart breaks for him. He knows how this feels.

Sehun sits and reaches out for Jongin’s hand. “I miss you too. All the time.”

Jongin smiles and his eyes light up, narrowing enough to push his tears out and trailing down his cheeks. “But?”

“No buts,” Sehun shakes his head. “You’ve been my best friend for too many years for there to be a catch. I just miss doing stupid shit with you.”

Jongin squeezes Sehun’s hand still holding his and grins, sincere and happy. “We should hang out soon, catch up.”

Sehun nods, but before he can voice his agreement Baekhyun drapes his arms over his shoulders from behind, a cup of hot chocolate in each hand. Sehun takes one and places it on the table.

“Hi Jongin.”

“Hey,” Jongin says, suddenly nervous again, returning to ripping small bits of his notebook paper out.

“I’m not gonna bite your head off, don’t worry,” Baekhyun jokes. He sits and straightens himself as takes a sip of his drink. “So, are you two okay now?” Sehun and Jongin both nod, Baekhyun beams happily at this. He takes a moment to look between the two before sighing dreamily. He leans over to rest his head on Sehun’s shoulder, “We should get going soon.”

Sehun nods, pats Baekhyun’s thigh under the table. Baekhyun jumps to his feet, sensing that the two estranged friends have a little more to talk about, and he doesn’t want to intrude. He removes himself from the vicinity, stands by the door to wait for Sehun with a pleasant, happy smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin repeats; he knows Sehun is likely tired of hearing it, but he just can’t seem to quit apologizing. “I hope you know how much I mean it.”

“I do,” Sehun says quietly. “I know, Jongin. And, I’m sorry too, for putting you in such a weird position. What happened between us was both our faults. Not just yours.” He pats Jongin’s hand one last time and stands, taking his cup with him. “I have to go, though. Text me.”

He turns and sees Baekhyun standing at the door, holding up a questioning thumbs up. Sehun returns the gesture and Baekhyun grins excitedly, does a little dance with his shoulders.

“Sehun?”

“Hm?” Sehun stops and turns back to Jongin.

“You two are really cute together,” he says, jerking his chin in the direction of Baekhyun. “I’m happy for you.”

Sehun’s heart swells; Jongin looks so sincere. “Thank you.”

 

They remain silent for the first few blocks of their walk home. The air has gotten noticeably cooler, the wind picked up just a little; Baekhyun has himself pressed tightly against Sehun where he can hide his face from the cold in his coat sleeve.

“Was it weird?” Baekhyun asks, “Seeing Jongin again?” He nuzzles his red nose further into Sehun’s arm and sniffles.

“Not really,” Sehun admits. He shrugs, then drapes an arm around Baekhyun when he feels him shiver. “I thought it would be, but it wasn’t.”

“That’s good.”

They fall into a silence again as they continue walking, their apartment only a block away now. Sehun can tell Baekhyun wants to say something as he takes a peek down at him.

“Just ask me,” Sehun says.

And when Baekhyun looks up, trying to feign confusion, he knows Sehun knows what he was thinking. “I don’t wanna,” he pouts. “I don’t think I could deal with hearing the wrong answer.”

Sehun stops, now in front of their building, and grabs Baekhyun by his shoulders. “Look at me.” He waits for Baekhyun to look up, eyes unsure and scared. “Do you think I would have let everything we did earlier happen if I was just gonna run back to Jongin the first chance I got?”

Baekhyun hangs his head once again and shrugs his shoulders. The tight hug Sehun pulls him into is warm and comforting, and he almost forgets he’s upset for a second.

“I just, I know how you felt about him and—”

Sehun cuts him off with a quick kiss. “And, how do you think I feel about you now?” Baekhyun shrugs once again and Sehun sighs. “You’re the one who taught me it’s not good to bottle up feelings, Baekhyun. So I’m not anymore. I love you, plain and simple.” Baekhyun’s head snaps up at the mention of love. “Now hurry up and say it back so we can kiss and then go inside, because I’m freezing.”

Baekhyun tries hard to keep himself from smiling, but Sehun is just too damn cute. He chews the inside of his bottom lip for a minute, then pushes up onto his toes and smashes their lips together.

“I love you,” he whispers, and is pleased to feel Sehun smiling against his lips. He looks at his wrist and grins wide, looking up at Sehun. “And if my watch is correct, it’s now after midnight which means it’s Christmas and you owe me one present.”

Sehun pulls Baekhyun into his arms, squeezing tight, pressing him firm against his chest. His laugh bubbles out, light and carefree, and he just smiles as the wind whips strands of Baekhyun’s hair into his eyes.

“You’re not even wearing a watch you little shit.”

Baekhyun peeks up at him and hops up to give his lips a quick peck. “Don’t need one to know it’s present time.”

And Sehun chases Baekhyun up the stairs, scrambling loudly down the halls where he catches him just before he can turn the doorknob. They share another kiss in the doorway before going inside where Sehun digs through a drawer to retrieve his gift for Baekhyun. They open their presents for each other, finish their hot chocolates and eat too many cookies. When Baekhyun falls asleep wrapped in Sehun’s arms on the couch, mid-way through a cheesy Christmas movie, Sehun can’t help but smile. He pulls Baekhyun closer and closes his eyes, drifting off to thoughts of his future and the role Baekhyun is sure to play in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who has given kudos and commented, and everyone else who has hung around to read this through my irregular updates. Hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!
> 
> And as always, if you wanna talk come hang out on twitter @sincelight


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